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Stephen Colbert - Monologue and Opening - 3/12/2026
Trump Got To Name The War | Tankers On Fire | Hegseth's Insecurity | 'Squatch WatchTrump boasted about how much he likes the name "Operation Epic Fury," Iran is following through on threats to attack ships in the Strait of Hormuz, Pete Hegseth can't stand the sight of his own face, and Stephen has updates on some real-deal Sasquatch sightings.
Meanwhile... Middle Earth Weather Report | Clooney's Near-Beer | Why Cats Land On Their Feet
Meanwhile... Stephen has a few words for the nerds who created an advanced "Lord of the Rings" climate model, tequila magnate George Clooney is introducing a non-alcoholic beer, and researchers claim to have solved the mystery of why cats always land on their feet.
Donald Trump Declares War On Asian Carp
Only Trump can do it.