Jersey has many fine diners, but New England is their home.

Early morning in December, light snow falling (Flatlanders would call it a snow storm). The only light on in Peabody (pronounced PEBadee) is at the Sunshine Diner on Main Street. It's the only street; everything else are roads (pronounced ruds). All the road crews, Peabody's one cop and the Selectmen tank up there first thing.

Big Abby Avery, waitress, former Marine Corps DI and common law wife of Booger Sanborne, town drunk and all around asshole, serves up blacker than the heart of darkness coffee that in more urbane setting would be banned by the EPA or at least illegal in five states.

Because it will be a typical day of rooster tailing snow into freshly shoveled driveways and knocking down mail boxes, the crews tuck in a light breakfast of three eggs, just keep the bacon comin', three slices of toast, slack of pancakes, hash browns and Marie's freshly baked bear claws.

As the Selectmen, Jake, Abel and Noah, have town business to discuss (business is never discussed at the town hall) they settle for loaded omelettes, sausage and bear claw. They're worried that Old Mrs Thornton will cause trouble at the next town meetin' about the proposal to tear down the ice house that her great-great-great-great grandfather built in 1774. Benedict Arnold was supposed to have taken a leak against it.

The cop, Jimmy Rasnowski (he's from outta state), has his standard oatmeal and tea. After that encounter with the moose and the surgery, Jimmy is eating like a Flatlander, worse - some fool from California. Abel will rag on him on that if his gut gets any flatter they may have to fire him. "We got our town image to think of, Raz."

Jimmy informs Abby that Booger's in the tank again. "Good. Keep his ass there."

New Jersey diners may have the Sopranos; New England's have Noah, Raz and Abby.

Continue

Libra: Above all they love balance, peace and harmony. They're the best choice to sooth hurt feelings and ruffled feathers. They tend to be elegant and good looking. Either make one an ambassador or your spouse. Orientation: Where else? The center.

Scorpio: Hire only if you're planning a revolution. Orientation: Usually far left of Lenin.

Sagittarius: Although commonly thought of as the sportsmen and jocks of the zodiac, they are also scholars and academics, especially in the liberal arts fields. A good choice as the idea wo/man for the Geminis. Can chair your brain trust, too. Orientation: On either side of center, but not too far either way.

Capricorn: Born to be the "right hand man". Particularly good at working with your Cancer keeping things on track. Word of warning: They are ambitious and patient. You could wind up working for them. Not that they planned it; it just happened that way. Orientation: They're natural conservatives.

Aquarius: Another idea wo/man. Unlike Saggies, they don't look to history for ideas; they look ahead. "Screw a manned mission to Mars. Let's go to Titan!" They can be nuts; they also can propose a Marshall Plan. Listen to them. Orientation: They're natural progressives.

Pisces: Hire all of them you can for phone banking and door to dooring. They're sweet natured, mild mannered and adaptable. They can make you look good. Orientation: Because you're a good person, they're loyal to you. Party, schmarity.

Sun signs and your political campaign.

Aries: Probably not the best choice for a political operative. They tend to shoot, then aim. They're also into immediate satisfaction. They also can't lie worth a damn. However, if you need someone for a frontal attack of any kind, an Aries is your best bet. They don't take prisoners. Orientation: Extreme at either end of the spectrum with a touch of libertarianism.

Taurus: Not that much into politics. However, if you need someone to take of the funding, hire a Taurus. They are very honest and experts at money management. You probably have more money at the end of the campaign than when you began. Orientation: When they can be bothered, a little right of center - Eisenhower Republicans.

Gemini: One word -- communications. They're your press secretaries and speech writers. They're the ones who will come up the perfect one word or one sentence summation of your political philosophy. They can write speeches that lift buildings off the ground. They can argue the leg off a mule. Only problem with them is it can be difficult keeping them focused. Orientation: Usually a bit left of center, but not always.

Cancer: Family is everything to a true crab, so a good choice for your campaign manager or chief of staff. They'll take good care of the troops and of you. They'll also provide the necessary discipline. Give them praise and a nice gift once in awhile and they'll move mountains for you. Orientation: Center and focused on social welfare.

Leo: They love the spot light and center stage, so unless they are the candidate, they don't do campaigns. However, they can radiate charm. So pour on the flattery and they'll smooze money out of deep pockets and give that killer nomination speech at the convention. Orientation: Zip.

Virgo: Hardest working of the signs. Also the greatest pickers of nits and diggers of dirt. They like to be on the move. So best choice for your whip and bad cop. They'll be more than willing to travel anywhere and "put a bit of stick about". Just don't use them up; they're not monsters. Orientation: Depends upon who they personally dislike.

To be continued.

Lots of memories and none of them good ones.

Stupid duck and cover exercises,
watching the A-Bomb tests on the News of the Day shorts at the movies,
listening to the Sputnik beeps and knowing the USSR had ICBM capability,
during the Cuban Missile go around, first shirt telling us our base was a primary target and we were sitting tight,
listening to the Looking Glass take off at midnight
watching Buffs with H-bombs in their bellies take off
Disaster Control exercises "How long can we wear these suits before we start to dehyderate?" "About an hour."
Sitting 50 miles from a Warsaw Pact border, knowing if shit happened we'd be rolled like a cheap rug.
Listening to Raygun joke about first strike
And much, much more

"The living will envy the dead" and "Our lives are depended upon Soviet computer technology."

During the Cold War an imagination was unpleasant

DUzy n/t