When I heard news that the plane that had been designated Air Force One and had flown Trump to Florida was en route and returning back to DC.

For some reason, it reaffirmed what the Presidency--and this country--stood for.

The thing was, Donald Trump always thought he was bigger than the Presidency itself. To him, it served one purpose only: to give him a claim to ultimate and never-ending power, glory and attention. However, the nitty gritties of the job that his predecessors and now successor have had to grapple with--the checks and the balances, the constitutional constraints, the unflattering burdens of the office--that was always beneath him.

He could have as well called himself Emperor, and no doubt would have if he could. And have at his disposal all those powerful glories at his hand for an indefinite amount of time, without regard to the popular will of the people or whatever concerned them.

Powerful glories that included a 747 jumbo jet at his beck and call, with the name of our country emblazoned on its side, and its fuel and maintenance paid for at our taxpayer expense.

I had actually seen Air Force One once before a year or two back, parked on the tarmac at the West Palm Beach airport. My kids were in the car with me, and under normal circumstances I would have happily pointed it out them as an exciting moment. But the thought of the man who used it and called himself the President disgusted me so much that I simply drove on by without comment.

He would have loved to have had that plane for life. And the bloody events at the Capitol two weeks prior were intended to make that come to pass.

But thank God, it failed.

And thank God, we live in a nation of law, with a President and not an Emperor.

So when I heard news that the plane that had carried Trump to his residence was returning back to the Nation's Capital, it really hit me deep.

Because no matter what Donald Trump thinks, no man or woman will ever be greater than the Presidency. The Presidency--and its office, and both its perks and solemn responsibilities--will always be greater than one person. And so that plane was leaving Donald Trump behind, alone and without further power, and returning to serve President Biden during his time in office.

On the morning of November 9, 2016, I truly and honestly thought we were going to lose our democracy and our country. I truly expected the man ascending to the office to seize the reigns of power for himself and end our republic as we knew it.

And in the four years that followed, we very nearly did lose it.

But somehow, by luck or Divine Providence, we did not. And knowing Donald Trump had been left behind as our country carried forward absolutely hit me on a heavy emotional level.

(The irony is that I live a mere half hour away from where he now sits and stews in oblivion, behind the gilded walls of Mar a Lago. And yet all the same, I haven't felt further away from him as I do now that he no longer has his grasp around our collective necks.)

The idea that we as a country have suffered a mass traumatic experience from the past four years might sound laughable. But it's absolutely true. And like individual victims of traumatic experiences, only now that the danger has passed are we going to start to emotionally absorb what we had just gone through, and process all the horrors.

And let us not mince words; they were truly horrors indeed.

And the idea that we survived, that the danger--at least the immediate danger--has passed, is both a relief but also an emotional bombshell that leaves us shaking. Think of Tom Hanks' portrayal of the title character in Captain Phillips; in the end, after his rescue he collapses into a quivering wreck even as a nurse assures him, "You're safe now."

But we survived.

And our plane, leaving the most disgraced person to ever hold the Office in its wake, has come back home to us.

https://twitter.com/ABC/status/1351424718142906368

That was the one lyric that stuck in my mind and gave me the slightest bit of hope the dark morning of November 9, 2016 when the worst case scenario came to be.

(Ironically I—along with nearly everyone else—was unaware that Cohen had passed away just two days before.)

And that lyric again came to my mind when I saw this picture of the Washington DC sky.

I won’t deny it brought a tear to my eye just thinking about it.

This morning I discovered we had a raccoon take up residence in an eave space in our roof. While I have nothing against raccoons in general and did not wish to see any harm come to the creature, I wasn't really a big fan of it becoming a permanent tenant there or-- even worse--making its way into our attic and wrecking havoc in there.

After attempting to shoo it away with a garden hose (which did absolutely nothing; honestly, I think it actually enjoyed it), I was forced to call in a professional to humanely extricate it from our roof.

When the guy from removal service arrived, I assumed he was simply going to set up a trap cage to which it could be lured in. However, instead what he did was get a long stick--about eight feet in length--and placed a rag on the end of it. In turn, the rag had been doused in a mysterious liquid. The removal service guy simply placed the stick in the general direction of the raccoon, and within about 10 seconds the raccoon had climbed out of the eaves space, made its way down the roof, jumped down and high tailed it in the direction of the neighbors (maybe to scout out their eaves space for a more comfortable habitat).

The removal guy then explained what was on the stick; it was the excretion fluid from a male raccoon, and our raccoon being a female (although thankfully with no kits in tow, which would have made the situation far more complicated), females apparently despise this male raccoon excretion fluid and want nothing to do with it.

Thus, if it comes noon on January 20th and Donald Trump has stubbornly refused to vacate the White House premises, I wholeheartedly endorse the tactic of shoving a stick in his face covered in raccoon excretion fluid in the hopes it might cause him to flee.

After all, it does seem to be a foolproof method of getting rid of unwanted squatting pests.

I grew up near the birthplace of Roger Brooke Taney.

Under normal circumstances you would think being the home of a Supreme Court Chief Justice would be a matter of great civic pride.

Museums, monuments, schools, roads, buildings—all named in your honor. All for the fame that you brought your hometown. It’s what typically happens with locals who achieved great heights.

But there was nothing around me named for Roger Brooke Taney. There was no museum. No monuments or statues—not even in the era of erecting statues to controversial figures as a symbol of defiance.

The only indication that we had any connection whatsoever to Roger Brooke Taney was a small historical plaque near his birthplace, a sign so insignificant when driving past it at 60 miles per hour that barely any of our own long time residents knew it existed.

For Roger Brooke Taney was the author of the Dred Scott decision, an infamous ruling denying the humanity of fellow human beings kept in slavery which is almost universally regarded as the worst decision ever in Supreme Court history.

Nobody wants that legacy. Not the least of which being other members of the Supreme Court, regardless of ideology.

Justices Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Barrett all owe their seats to Donald Trump (and to some extent Mitch McConnell and his hypocritical machinations as well).

They received a position for life, and one where the burden to remove them prematurely is extremely high.

No doubt about it, they will be on the wrong end of many, many bad and unsavory decisions for years to come. And that’s quite a sad and depressing fact.

But dare I say none of them want to be put in the company of Roger Brooke Taney.

None of them feel the need or loyalty to Donald Trump to the extent they would support his demands to overturn a fairly decided Presidential election and disenfranchise millions of American voters.

They got what they wanted from Trump. And now they’re done with him. And none of them want to follow him down the path towards American infamy.

This is not a matter of principle on their part but rather mere practicality.

Nobody wants to be Roger Brooke Taney.

They hate her with an absolute passion--her and former Ambassador Michael McFaul probably received more wrath from Kremlin based trolls than any other American figure.

It all dates back to 2014 after the US State Department had levied sanctions against Russia after the invasion and annexation of Crimea. Russian trolls would send the nastiest comments at the State Department's daily press briefings, which Psaki conducted. While most Americans hardly knew who Psaki was or bothered to watch any State Department briefings themselves, she was a household name to the Russian online community and they went after her on an everyday basis.

I suppose the vitriol against her was an example of "shooting the messenger" but thankfully I don't think Psaki ever let it get to her. Glad to see this hire from the President Elect.

She's widely acknowledged it herself:

https://twitter.com/jrpsaki/status/847138578182389761

Buy one, get 87 more free!

But wait, there's more! Act now, and we'll throw in 43 "Trump 2020: No More Bullshit" flags at no added cost!

Still not buying? I'll even throw in 16 copies of Donald Jr.'s book, "Triggered!" All personally signed by the author himself! Okay, I might have forged them, but honestly, do you even care?!?

Hurry! Everything must go! Now!!!!!!!!! Before we get evicted and turned into a Spirit Halloween pop-up shop! Who talked me into this?!? My life choices are terrible!!!!!!

I most definitely haven't been camped out in front of Tucker Carlson's mailbox, waiting anxiously to pilfer all his Bed Bath and Beyond Coupons and/or manila envelopes labeled "Hunter Biden's Super Secret and Totally Incriminating Hard Drive and Various Other Papers--DO NOT DARE OPEN UNLESS YOUR NAME IS TUCKER SWANSON MCNEAR CARLSON!!!!"

No siree! Not at all! Don't look at me, because for sure I haven't been doing that at all! And if you are the mail carrier on Tucker Carlson's route, and you happen to see a man sitting in a lawn chair next to Tucker's mailbox, know that I have a very familiar face and I have been known to routinely been confused for many other people, including several reputed mailbox scavengers. But for sure, it was not I!

Now, with that being said, I seem to have come into a quick surplus of Mediterranean Breeze scented candles along with several sets of seafoam green assorted bathroom towels and washcloths. Frankly, it's more than I can handle and I would be happy if some of you were to take a few of them off my hands.

President Donald Trump--who for nearly all of his term in office has promised to revamp the American health care system but to date has not taken any official action on such promises--announced today a bold initiative that he believes will directly address this issue in advance of next month's election.

"We're calling it the 'Write Your Own Health Care Plan,'" a White House official stated when asked for specifics. "Essentially, what we are doing is providing each and every American with a 1,000 page leather bound book of blank paper. And we encourage everyone who receives this book to really let their imagination run lose. Talk about in detail how they best would like to cover prescription drug prices and coverage of pre-existing conditions. For there is nothing in your own mind that you can't think of to solve all of our nation's most critical healthcare needs."

When asked whether the President will actually take any ideas submitted by citizens into consideration, the White House remained somewhat evasive.

"Really, this is more for you than it is for us," the official said. "Consider it a practical writing exercise for your own benefit."

However, the official warned that if citizens did wish to submit their proposals to the White House, they would be responsible for all postage and all submissions would first go through a customized mail screening process specifically devised by US Postmaster General Louis DeJoy.

The White House pointed out that citizens were free to keep the large blank books of paper and if they were unable to come up with any good proposals on their own, they could use the books for other purposes.

"It would work as a great sketchpad, for example," the official pointed out. "Also it is perfect for grocery lists. Or scrap paper for your kid's algebra homework. Plus origami! Origami is always so much fun! The bottom line is, go to town!"

During President Trump's interview with Lesly Stahl of CBS's 60 Minutes, Trump and White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany presented Stahl with an advance copy of the book.

After Stahl discovered the book was in fact blank, Trump and McEnany both reportedly shouted, "Sike! No backsies!" and ran giggling from the room, effectively ending the interview.



Details at Eleven.

...but because that is all that will have left in the end.

Biden will win the election, and he will likely win it handily. Hopefully, that fact will be known by the early morning of November 4th, if not the late hours of November 3rd. If we're lucky, that's how it will unfold. But regardless, one way or another, he's going to win and--knock on wood--it shouldn't be very close.

At this point, Trump--on one hand faced with the prospect of a humiliating defeat, but on the other hand worried about the personal legal implications that might await him in the post-presidency where he doesn't have a toady named Bill Barr to run interference for him--will turn to flooding social media with pictures.

Pictures of boat parades.

And car parades.

And super-spreader rallies.

All with lots of wide-eyed folks wearing MAGA hats and waving Trump flags.

And this will be contrasted with selected pictures of speaking events President-Elect Biden had made during the campaign where he took efforts to social distance and limit the audience in order to protect against the spread of the Coronavirus.

The completely non-scientific implication of this juxtaposition will be that Trump had massive support during the campaign whereas Biden had none, and therefore the results of the election were fraudulent and cannot be trusted.

Never mind that it would take a massive amount of fraudulent votes to swing an election, and mark my word, there will be no actual evidence of such fraudulent votes.

But these people never believed in facts or science in the first place, so what does it matter to them?

At that point, Trump could mount some bogus court challenge to the certification of the votes. The faint hope would be that a conservative Supreme Court--including a newly installed Justice Barrett--would rule in his favor, but I don't think even they would be willing to put their credibility on the line like that.

More likely the hope would be to rile up the cultish Trumpist base to create noise and chaos that will insist--against all reason--that the election was stolen from Trump. This too is to be expected.

My only hope is that this noise and chaos is not accompanied by violence.

But make no mistake about it, post-Trump loss, we will see massive pictures of boat parades, accompanied by phrases such as "Silent majority" and many evidence-free claims that the vote was somehow a fraud just because Biden was smart enough to social distance at his events and that his supporters are not cultish vessels who feel the need to assuage their Great Leader with offerings of boats and flags.

An alleged laptop which someone insists really, absolutely totally belonged to Hunter Biden for sure, and this person supposedly gave the laptop to the lawyer for Rudy Giuliani—a man up to his eyeballs in involvement in the actual shakedown of Ukraine by Donald Trump that lead to his impeachment—and this is in turn told to Steve Bannon—a man currently under indictment for defrauding people over a fake border wall—who then tells all of this to the New York Post, a publication best known as the paper most preferred by parakeets over the Tri-State area.

The scintillating “information” is an alleged desired introduction of Burisma officials by Hunter Biden to his father—Vice President at the time—who the allegation is then that VP Biden leans on the Ukrainian President to replace its Prosecutor General because that will supposedly relieve pressure on Burisma even though that Prosector General had abandoned the investigation into Burisma, and also everybody from the Obama administration to the EU to the IMF wanted that Prosecutor General replaced.

So either all of this is absolutely true and it does absolutely nothing to implicate either Biden, or it was all some elaborate Rube Goldberg set up and it still did absolutely nothing to implicate either Biden.

If you’re going to fake a smoking gun, shouldn’t it at least give the appearance of actual smoke?

Fucking amateurs.