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Tommy Carcetti

Tommy Carcetti's Journal
Tommy Carcetti's Journal
July 29, 2020

BREAKING NEWS: White House decries "racist" attacks against controversial doctor.

In light of President Trump promoting the views of controversial physician Dr. Stella Immanuel--who appeared in an online video lauding the use of the unproven drug Hydroxychloroquine for the treatment of COVID-19--the White House has doubled down on the President's defense of the doctor.

"Leave it to the Fake News media and the Democrat Party of the KKK to attack this immigrant and brave woman of color who we do not actually employ in any sort of capacity," White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany said at a recent press briefing. "And who do they dare seek to promote over this bold, brave beautiful black woman? That's right! That white devil, that nasty-ass cracker Dr. Anthony Fauci, a world renown epidemiologist who we actually do employ in our White House task force and yet also inexplicably seek to undermine at any possible waking opportunity."

"Shame!" McEnany added. "Shame! Shame! Shaaaaaammmmmmeeeeee on you!!!!!!!!"

Other officials echoed McEnany's remarks.

"It's like they want to place immigrants and minorities in their place," noted Trump campaign spokesman Hogan Gidley during an interview on Fox News. "What's next, Democrats? Are you going to demand Dr. Immanuel be forced to drink from separate drinking fountains as Dr. Fauci? Why don't you just go ahead and say it? Just say it. 'Go back to Africa, Dr. Immanuel!' We all know that's what you're really trying to say here."

Since the controversial video--which has subsequently been removed from platforms at Facebook, Twitter and Youtube--surfaced, some of Dr. Immanuel's past statements and views have come to light, including a belief that certain diseases are caused by "demon sperm."

But people close to Trump have remained undeterred in their defense of both the President and Dr. Immanuel.

"We want to send a clear message to the world that America is a country that loves, welcomes, cherishes, celebrates and promotes immigrants and people of color," White House counselor Kellyanne Conway proclaimed. "Provided, of course, that said immigrants and people of color advocate beliefs about alien DNA and a reptilian Deep State federal government who exists solely to do the bidding of homosexual terrorists. Otherwise, of course, our policy towards those types of people remains as it has always been."

Meanwhile, during a recent virus briefing, President Trump himself stood firmly behind Dr. Immanuel's positions.

"She's a wonderful doctor, a very smart doctor, a doctor who provides all the best opinions," Trump said. "Many people have come to me and asked me, 'Sir, what made you choose such a doctor to advocate for? Why did you do it, sir?' And I said to them, I told them, 'Only the best people for Trump. Only the best.' Because I think Frederick Douglass is very proud of people like Dr. Immanuel. Very proud. And he's a Republican. Not many people know that, but Frederick Douglass is a Republican. And I'm sure all the people in the Democrat Party would call for him to be silenced, just like they are doing right now for Dr. Immanuel. It's a disgrace."

When asked for further comment on the story, McEnany emailed back a response with a single line reading, "Kill Whitey!!!!!"


(Note: Normally I don't feel that I have to do this, but I think I need to add an additional tag, because while this is my normal "Breaking News" satire story, I'm almost certain this is the direction that the cretins in the White House are going to eventually end up spinning the story in some form or another.)

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Member since: Tue Jul 10, 2007, 02:49 PM
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