Your letter touched my heart. Reminds me of all the feelings and memories we try to keep bottled up and not talk about, and we tell ourselves we have moved on, but not really. It comes back, whether you want it to or not.
When I hear people say: "Never Forget", I think how could we possibly? I don't mean it, in terms of revenge, like some do, but in the experience itself. The feeling of helplessness, wanting to do something to help, anything, to stop the horror unfolding before you, but it was out of your control. You just stood and watched and cried with the people around you.
And you're right it wasn't for one day, that it felt like the whole world seemed to turn upside down, it went on for a very long time. And for some who saw some truly horrific things, which I will not mention, it never stopped.
For the longest time, I felt like I was walking through a fog. I felt numb. What sticks out in my mind, were the long lines at St. Vincent's Hospital, people standing there waiting to give blood. Wanting to help. And Rays Pizza , with all those photos of the "missing", and hoping against hope people would be found. My mind knew better, but my heart didn't. All gone.
I loved Windows on the World. Was up there twice, the staff was so friendly, such nice people. I use to wonder if some of the servers were okay, then I realized, I really didn't want to know.
Eventually, I found out I lost a very close friend on 9/11. Through the years, you try and remember all the good times we shared, and were planning to do. But when 9/11 comes around, there is nothing good to remember about how it ended in such a horrible manner, and it's hard not to think about that. For the longest time, after 9/11, you would always run into people who lost someone too, or knew of someone else that you knew who had died. So many people, it was overwhelming at times. So much sadness for so many people.
It's strange isn't it, that you can look up in the sky and miss those towers right along with the people who use to be in them.
But one thing for sure, I am so very proud of this city and how it lived through a nightmare and never quit,it took strength, it took courage, it took a lot, it took time, but we got through. No matter where I go, I will always remember that, and this city will always be my heart.
I'm so glad you wrote that beautiful letter, it gave me a chance to vent too, and I needed that. Thank you so much. Take care.
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