So how does stuff get classified? And who does the classifying?

[Stinky The Clown]

Some stuff gets classified by custom or regulation simply based on what it is. An example is the floor plan used by the cleaning service at CIA HQ.

Some stuff gets classified because it discusses things that can, like plans for an upcoming summit with a foreign leader, leave us at a disadvantage if know by people who ought not know them.

Plans for nuclear weapons. Plans for fighter plans. Reports on various states of readiness. All are likely to be classified for obvious reasons.

Someone has to actually classify such things.

Declassifying generally requires the declassifier to consult with the original classifier to determine what, if any, negative outcome would result from the declassification.

When the Bushies outed Valerie Plame they did it with a consequences-be-damned attitude. Some of her contacts very likely suffered bad outcomes. The United States lost a competent NOC operative. But even here, the "declassifying" followed no formula. They just did it on their own - and almost certainly illegally.

You can't just wave your hand over a cardboard box of classified stuff and, like some political shaman or voodoo doctor, declare it declassified.

Sorry you pustulated turd. It didn't happen.

You're a criminal.