I see a lot of posts about that "dinner table" and how it often gets infected with magats. Especially this time of year.

[usonian]

Last edited Sat Nov 15, 2025, 04:23 PM - Edit history (1)

If you'd like to offer a quick, snappy dumbfounding response that can be printed on a cheat sheet or stored on a phone, please chime in.

Anyone is welcome to glean "best of the worst".
Share your "cheat sheet", please.

Some suggestions:

• In sports, the winner buys the dinner. So, please cover the meal. (Optionally, my Soros check is late.)
• If you'll excuse me, I have an appointment to bang a hooker. Can you please buy my spouse dessert?
• Excuse me for a moment. My shorts are tight and I need more ballroom. BRB.
• What fine chicken! You take the East Wing. It's kind of messed up.
• Is that Argentinian beef, do you know?
• Trump said in 2018, "The U.S. should no longer serve as the “policemen of the world.” And now he's (Dirty Harry/Colombo/Frank Drebin) with missiles.
• Awful weather outside (wait for response?). So, why can't Trump change it like Biden did?
• Prices went up. I can't afford to get you a Christmas gift, only a cheap-ass holiday gift.
• Thank goodness, no cockroaches in the salad. The restaurant (or we) can't afford them, with price increases.
• I'd order appetizers/dessert but I'm down to my last $100 bill.
--- and last but not least, (you were waiting for this)
• The "fake phone call" app.


"Yes, sir, they don't look quite white enough. Do you want names?

You have the floor!
Now, where is the vacuum cleaner?

Remember, short, snappy, and preferably with no possible answer for them to spout their playbook "catechism"