Robert F Kennedy Jr compares childhood vaccines to Nazi Death Camps...

[proverbialwisdom]

193. Scathing April Fool's spoof post inspired by actual events.

Multiple corroborating embedded links at original.

http://therefusers.com/refusers-newsroom/dr-paul-offit-is-admitted-to-philadelphia-hospital-after-taking-100000-vaccines-reuters-health/#.Ua77vsu9KK0

WARNING - SATIRE

Dr. Paul Offit is admitted to Philadelphia hospital after taking 100,000 vaccines

Posted on April 1, 2012 by The Refusers

Responding to a public challenge by neurosurgeon Dr. Russell Blaylock (link) to take the same vaccines that he recommends for others, Dr. Paul Offit had 100,000 vaccines injected by his wife, pediatrician Dr. Bonnie Offit. In a statement before the 24-hour injection session, Dr. Paul Offit said: ‘As I stated in the October 2005, Parents Pack Newsletter from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (link): My studies show “healthy infants could safely get up to 100,000 vaccines at once” and I intend to demonstrate this to debunk the false prophets of a vaccine/autism link once and for all.’

Dr. Offit received 38 injections per square inch of his body in the marathon vaccine injection session. He developed seizures and was admitted to Philadelphia Children’s Hospital with severe cases of atypical measles, chickenpox, pertussis, pneumonia, rotavirus and encephalitis. This hospital issued a statement saying that Dr. Offit was probably faking his symptoms, because scientific studies show that vaccines have been proven to be 100% safe and effective and never cause adverse reactions.

A spokesman for Merck (which made 99,999 of the 100,000 vaccines) said: ‘Sometimes neurological diseases occur in a random temporal association with vaccination. Correlation is not causation. No one should know this better than Dr. Offit and we refuse to take responsibility for his health problems. If he erroneously believes that vaccines have caused his illnesses, he should apply to the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (NVICP) for relief. The NVICP was created expressly to protect innocent vaccine manufacturers like us from frivolous lawsuits by so-called vaccine adverse reaction victims.’

The Chief Special Master of the NVICP kangaroo court issued a statement saying: ‘Unfortunately, Dr. Offit’s symptoms are not covered under our program. There is absolutely no scientific evidence showing that vaccines can cause the diseases they were designed to prevent. Dr. Offit is mistaken if he believes that he can milk the system with his phony vaccine injury claims. Anyway, the money obtained through vaccine taxes in the NVICP program has already been spent by the US government as part of the general budget, so we couldn’t pay Offit even if we wanted to. Why do you think we reject so many claims anyway?’

From his hospital bed, Dr. Offit gave this response: ‘Now I understand how vaccines are injuring children and adults. I promise to work to correct the great injustice that I have personally inflicted on innocent vaccine victims. If I ever recover from this paralytic neurological damage caused by vaccination, I will work tirelessly to ensure that such a thing never happens to another innocent child.’