General Discussion
Showing Original Post only (View all)I hate to do this thread, but it seems to be time again: I'm a male survivor of abuse [View all]
I don't bring this up much, because it's none of your fucking business. My arguments stand or fall on their own whatever my experience has been.
That said, somehow whenever women start to band together and address the horrible extent of abuse women face, a certain phalanx of male voices somehow seem to find their way into the conversation to deny them the legitimacy of their grievances. Funny how that happens, yes?
Point 1, since I started with it, if you too are a male survivor of abuse, there are several safe places on the Internet for you to start healing; the one I know best is http://www.malesurvivor.org
Point 2, survivors never, ever, ever de-legitimize the sufferings of other survivors.
I'll be the first to say: male abuse survivors face unique challenges; there is a code of silence that tells us our abuse didn't happen. But guess what: female survivers are told their abuse didn't happen, and if it did, it was their fault.
But none of that matters. Surviving abuse is not a contest. That's actually the #1 way to tell a survivor: we don't compare scars.
Point 3, the existence of abuse against male children does not in any way undo the societal and universal pressure that forces female children who are abused into silence and self-hate.
Anyways, whenever I see DU approaching a moment I can't live with anymore, I feel the need to post something like this.
Male survivors are not enemies of feminists; we're quite often your allies, and using abuse of males to minimize abuse of females is a tactic worthy of Goebbels. Fuck them.
EDIT: I just wanted to make a point about MaleSurvivor and gender identification: if you have at any point biologically or socially identified as male you are welcome there. Cis-men, trans-men, trans-women -- we're all trying to live and grow. It's worth saying hello.