Coping With Welfare Equals Losing 13 IQ Points

[TexasTowelie]

2. A big K&R.

My IQ tests showed that I was in the top one percent when I was younger and my work concentrated on solving equations and writing complex computer programs. I've noticed that my cognitive skills declined within the past six months and with the contributing issues of being a diabetic, I accepted the fact that I am unemployable. There is no way that I could tackle the projects that I used to work on in the past due to lack of initiative and poor concentration skills. I also that I skip words when typing or writing and feel the pain of neuropathy, arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome if I engage in tasks that take a long time to complete.

I was laid off in 2010 and have exhausted nearly all of the resources available to me. My adventure this year includes an attempted suicide and spending a week in a homeless shelter in April along with three days in a crisis center earlier this month even though I was not having suicidal thoughts at that time. The psychiatrists, counselors and almost everyone else I've contacted believe that I should qualify for disability, but the process of asking for help from HHS, the Workforce Commission, MHMR and indigent care has been extremely frustrating over the past five months.

Today was a particularly difficult day. The neighbor who lives beneath us squealed and claimed that I was making a lot of noise and playing loud music (I'm not listening to any music and I rarely listen to anything on my computer without headphones). My brother received a lease violation notice since he was going month-to-month and he didn't update his lease when I moved into his apartment back in April. That sent my brother into a tizzy all evening and he made a number of comments that reminded me that I'm not wanted anywhere. I went out to eat about 5 p.m. to get away from him since his comments triggered some suicidal thoughts and tears.

On top of that, I went for a walk to the store about 7 p.m. and was harassed by the local cops since I was walking on the wrong side of the road (it is a semi-rural area). Fortunately, I remained rational and told the cop a condensed version of my story including that I'm trying to access social services so he let me ago without issuing a ticket.

Even though it was a rough day, I'm still rational enough that I'm going to try and let the social services process work. Tomorrow will probably also be difficult depending on what the apartment managers tell my brother. He will have to pay extra if I'm put on a new lease and I hope that I don't get kicked out of here and become homeless again. The reason I attempted suicide back in April was because the only things that I saw in my future were homeless shelters and psychiatric hospitals so it has certainly taxed my cognitive load as mentioned in the graphic. I'm bracing for another day of bitterness from my brother and hoping that will be the worst thing that I'll have to handle tomorrow.