Here's How To Be Exceptionally Likable

[F4lconF16]

61. Here's a better idea:

Rule #1: Don't be a jerk. Try, for once in your pathetic, miserable existence, to care about a single being other than yourself.

It's amazing how easily things go from there. Much simpler, too.

Actually though, I do have issues with this. I think it's exceptionally stupid. Likeability is a terrible thing to aspire to. How about being a genuinely good person? Not everyone's gonna like you, but who cares? You're doing the right thing. Personally, I hope I piss those people off by doing the right thing. I hope they hate my guts for it. It's better than being liked by everyone, personally.

Here we go:

#1. A positive mental attitude only gets you so far. It's really pretty obnoxious at times. Better than positive mental attitude is simply being content with your existence and your self-defined purpose. Don't try to be happy--try to be happy with yourself. A subtle but critical difference. Constant happiness is draining for everyone involved--it's okay to be sad, or need a hug, or be angry. Accept those emotions within you and deal with them with the help and love of others if you can. Don't cover it up with BS optimism--the surest way I've ever seen to become depressed (which is, I admit, a total oversimplification and trivialisation of depression. I'm not talking clinical depression here).

#2. Um, no. Speak in a tone that gets your point across. If you shoot my grandmother, you're dang right I will yell and scream in all sorts of uncivilized manners. Tone is a valuable communication tool--don't mute yourself because you're scared about not being liked. Instead, use your tone to express yourself more clearly and effectively in a constructive manner.

#3. This one I don't have any issues with. Though I challenge anyone to go a day with a talkative toddler without eventually ignoring them--sometimes it's best for all involved. My girlfriend and I ignore each other all the time with pleasant results

#4. Back to #2. Why would you do that? Bottling your ability to express yourself is unhealthy, to say the least. Don't kill someone, but if you're mad, it's okay to show it. If you need to cry and need support, ask for it. Being willing to accept your own emotions will go a long ways towards helping others accept you. We are social creatures. Stay that way.

#5. Yep. Solid plan. But make sure you know when to run out of patience--my roommates weren't cleaning up after themselves, so after a few weeks I let them know. Too much patience would mean far too many dishes for me to do. Same goes for life. I'm only going to have patience with police reform when they're not killing black people. Guess what? My patience for reform is gone. Time to abolish the police, and now. I will demand it, and will not wait. Patience is a virtue only in the proper amounts.

#6. Absolutely. 100% agree, no qualifications. Though be critical of what information comes in--not a qualification to the previous, but a good thing to do nevertheless.

#7. Back to #1, #2, and #4. Smiles are nice, but not when that's not how you feel. People can tell an honest smile when they're talking to people, most of the time. You're not doing yourself or them any favors by lying about your thoughts. Distrust is a very dangerous thing to play with. Less like fire, more like nitroglycerin.

#8. Another good one, and probably my favorite on here. Funny how listening means you'll understand people better. Keeping my mouth shut and my empathy channels open has never gone wrong for me.

#9. Mehhhhhh. A good idea, but really, who does that?

#10. Eh. Good deeds aren't easily quantifiable or even noticeable. Some of the best things I've had people do for me were often totally unknown by the person who did them. Concentrate on making yourself a better person, and the "good deeds" will come with that. I don't like that approach, as it seems to suggest good deeds are somehow accomplishable. Life itself is full of opportunity to do good--focus on making the world a better place, not on individual acts. You'll wear yourself out, and you'll never feel you did enough.

#11. A good one. Though challenging at times, and some failures just suck, period. There isn't always a moral to the story. Sometimes it's just a shitty story that the author never finished properly. Life isn't an Aesop fable.

#12. Yes, but not in a creepy way. Maybe just let them know they are important by actively engaging with them. Don't be a creep--don't fetishize this rule.

#13. Yep. Remember that genuine praise can only come from a genuine act that needs or deserves praise. Don't give people genuine compliments who don't deserve them, as they're no longer genuine. Hitler had a handsome little stache, but you'll never hear me tell it to him. Probably 'cause he's dead. Also, that was a terrible moustache. He needed a new stylist in general. But seriously, only give compliments if you mean them, not to make yourself more likeable. Then you're making it about you, not the person deserving of praise.

#14. Ha. Definitely. And often, please. My girlfriend does an excellent job at this. Don't take offense--see #8. Just shut up and listen. Maybe they have a point.

#15. Don't take online guides to life too seriously. Life isn't that hard to understand, shitty as it might be in practice. Help others, help others to help you, and try and be a decent person, and you'll be alright. At least, it works for me. You might need a totally different style, and that's okay.

Enough discussion?