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qwlauren35

(6,295 posts)
10. I have bipolar disorder.
Mon Apr 4, 2016, 11:38 PM
Apr 2016

One of the drugs I take is lithium. I also take Celexa, Lamictal and Geodon... in generic form.

I ***HATE*** taking these pills. And I miss my manic episodes. But when I read this article, I recognized myself in the description of bipolar mania. Just to describe one of my suicidal episodes, that still happen every few months, is painful. I go fetal. I bawl. I shake. I try to reason through it. I tell myself it's just an episode, and I'll get through it in a few hours. I say this to myself over and over, to stop from imagining ways to kill myself. But the thoughts are there. Pills, natural gas, carbon monoxide. And sometimes jumping off a building.

At any rate, here's the excerpt... what it's like to be bipolar.

There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you’re high it’s tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one’s marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends’ faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against– you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

homeopathic treatments should be outlawed Kalidurga Apr 2016 #1
Should be able to repeat and safeinOhio Apr 2016 #2
Shoot, even single studies are questionable. HuckleB Apr 2016 #3
Homeopaths should be prosecuted and jailed for fraud. (eom) HassleCat Apr 2016 #4
Recommended. H2O Man Apr 2016 #5
My brother has bi-polar very bad and he uses the prescribed jwirr Apr 2016 #16
Someone suggested homeopathy to treat my genetic disorder DeadLetterOffice Apr 2016 #6
Recommended. onyourleft Apr 2016 #7
Indeed. HuckleB Apr 2016 #12
Lithium?! Who prescribes lithium today, it's awful on the body and there are better options WhaTHellsgoingonhere Apr 2016 #8
It's still the gold standard, but I won't take it for fear of toxicity. Have settled for Tegretol, GreenPartyVoter Apr 2016 #14
Fortunately, meds like Depakote and Lamictal came along by the time WhaTHellsgoingonhere Apr 2016 #17
Glad to hear it's being used less now, at least in your area. I liked Lamictal OK, but it triggered GreenPartyVoter Apr 2016 #18
It depends on the individual. HuckleB Apr 2016 #15
Good point, of course you are absolutely correct. WhaTHellsgoingonhere Apr 2016 #19
Thanks for posting this. I'll finish reading it tomorrow. In the Sports Forum, I was using WhaTHellsgoingonhere Apr 2016 #9
I have bipolar disorder. qwlauren35 Apr 2016 #10
my psych has me on an amino acid to supplement my meds fizzgig Apr 2016 #11
Do you know the mechanism that the psych hopes will help? HuckleB Apr 2016 #13
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