Some men my age climb mountains. Some run marathons.

[LuckyCharms]

I however, have decided not to pursue these activities.

I do not make this decision lightly.

I'm not very coordinated.

I get out of the shower, dry off, and go to put on my boxer briefs while standing up.

I usually miss the leg hole entirely when trying to put on my underwear, and my big toe gets caught in the crotch-hole instead. So I'm naked, perched on one leg, and hopping around while my big toe is caught in the crotch-hole.

Then everything turns to slow motion as I desperately try to right myself, still hopping on one leg, as I scream in despair while losing my balance and smashing my face against the corner of the dresser.

For these reasons, I have decided not to climb mountains or run marathons.

Thank you.