I want to travel to Germany one day. What should I know ?

[MiddleFingerMom]

29. I listened to two obvious noobs coming back to the barracks after a night on the town.

.
.
.
One of them asked the other, "You were doing so WELL with that women and
all of a sudden she stormed off. What happened?"
.
"I called her my "little sweetheart" and it pissed her off."
.
OBVIOUSLY interested in THAT little phrase, the first man asked the second
how to say it.
.
"Mein kleine scheissie."
.
The young woman HAD to have had no sense of humor whatsoever. "My
little sweetheart is "Mein kleine Schatzie." When he said she was his
"kleine Scheissie", he was calling her his "little turd".
.
.
.
My buddy Tex and I, when bored once (and surprisingly sober) bet each other
that we wouldn't shave our heads. We were both 18 years old. Bald heads
were 25-30 years off from being trendy (there weren't even any skinheads
to speak of) -- so it was totally goofy and we could have even been charged
by the Army for sporting a "bizarre hairstyle". They loved it and thought we
were the sharpest troops ever.
.
The next time we went downtown, we were amazed and DEE-FUCKING-LIGHTED
to find that it was considered good luck to kiss a bald man on top of his head...
and German women NEVER had the opportunity before to, um -- you know...
get lucky with 18-year-old studs (at least not in THAT manner).
.
We never got kissed by so many wonderful strangers in our lives.
.
.
.
We were BOTH pretty sure that we were never EVER gonna grow our hair out
again.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To tell you the truth, we were DAMNED sure.
.
.
.
.
.
One last thing: I don't know if it's still the case, but if you brought out your
pack of cigarettes, it was customary to offer every person at the table one --
JUST the first time.
.
.
.