Would it be weird to want a semen analysis for "peace of mind"?

[Denninmi]

15. OK, actually two ways. The other alternative is kinda not good for me.

Since I have a few, ahem, "issues" as you may know from this forum, I kind of have to be careful about some things. They are, as referred to by the professionals, "triggering". One of my problems is really low self esteem, there are times that I feel like the absolute scum of the earth, lower than the worst criminal murderer, pedophile, or rapist. Objectively, I know that is completely false, I'm actually a pretty nice guy and pretty responsible citizen. But, it's all part of my problem , it was so ingrained during my abusive childhood that I am worthless, and couple that with my little misadventure last year that really did make me feel like a criminal,and, well, it was a recipe for my self esteem to crash from it's normal abysmal 3 on a 1-10 scale to about -135. Not a good thing, really.

So, if I were to find out I were infertile, it would crash me self esteem and self image further.

However, I think realistically the odds of that happening are very slim, as I stated, it's a redundant biological system, just like kidneys. I think it's extremely likely I produce healthy sperm in sufficient quantities. I know that I don't have low T, that was tested a year ago and it was normal.

So, I guess I would be wiling to take that chance --worst case scenario, good job security for my therapist and doctor. And, they have stuff to deal with it at the Costco pharmacy.

Not easy being nuts, but in my defense, and for the record, I am, thank God, NOT bipolar, it was a crap Dx by a quack. I have a new doctor who is great, she immediately said "C-PTSD" and said what I went through last year was completely unnecessary and frankly very bad medical care. It helped me tremendously just to hear that from her.