Charlie Glickman and Sex Positivity

[stevenleser]

An important discussion as the term is under attack from some groups who mostly do not understand it.

http://www.charlieglickman.com/sex-positivity/

Western societies have been influenced by the idea that sex is harmful, shameful, disgusting or sinful for centuries. While allowances have usually been made for certain situations, such as procreation, the idea that pleasure, the body, and sex are (at best) necessary evils has deep roots in many different cultures.

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Another way that sex-negativity can manifest is through the Myth of the Normal. When the Myth of the Normal is invoked, we define certain sexual acts or situations as normal, while everything else becomes abnormal/sinful/wrong/shameful. A quick glance at the average sex advice column in the supermarket checkout stand magazines will offer plenty of examples of the ways that we create the Myth of the Normal.

These sex-negative patterns have a deep impact on how we think about and experience sex. As a sex educator, I strive to help people explore the ways that sex-negativity affects them in order to move towards a more joyous relationship with sexuality.

The difficulty is that many people mistake enthusiasm for sex with sex positivity. In my view, sex-positivity is the view that the only relevant measure of a sexual act, practice, or experience is the consent, pleasure, and well-being of the people engaged in it or the people affected by it. In my experience, this is a much more useful way of exploring sexuality because it helps us see past our own triggers and squicks, set aside our judgments, and make room for the diversity of human sexuality. We can build a sex-positive sex of ethics, set and hear boundaries, and discover the sexual expressions that work for us while honoring and celebrating those that work for other people. This is what I see as the path out of sex-negativity.
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About the author

http://www.charlieglickman.com/about/

I’ve been a sexuality educator since 1989, when I became an HIV educator and counselor. I quickly learned that effective safer sex education had to include information on sexuality, relationship issues, and communication and negotiation. So I decided to start learning about these different topics and quickly discovered that talking and teaching about sex was the path I wanted to take.

In 1996, I joined the staff at Good Vibrations as a Sex Educator-Sales Associate in the Berkeley store. Talking with thousands of people about their concerns and questions showed me how much we need accurate information. After a few years, I began to coordinate the After Hours workshop program, which has grown to include over 100 workshops per year on an incredible range of topics. I also developed the staff training program, and eventually became the Education Program Manager. I currently oversee all of the Good Vibrations sex education projects.

Meanwhile, I began to offer workshops and personal consultation on a wide range of topics including safer sex, working with male survivors of sexual assault, sexual practices & diversity, BDSM, polyamory, sexual shame, sexual authenticity, and the relationships between sexuality and spirituality. My teaching was based on my personal experiences, as well research and reading I had done, but I had the sense that there was something missing. I noticed that most sex educators develop their classes by watching other teachers and using the same tools, without always understanding the practices that create optimal learning for adults. I recognized that I was no exception to this observation, so I decided to find other ways to teach.

Eventually, I went back to school and received my doctorate in Adult Sexuality Education from the Union Institute and University. My dissertation explored the application of adult education principles to the connections between sexuality, spirituality and shame. I’m also certified as a Sexuality Educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

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