I am a survivor.

[CaptYossarian]

4. Your dad may have paid for your treatments because it was easier to help you.

His issue was impossible to fix.

My mother was like that. Her problem started when her grandfather and her father "took turns" on her at age 9. She spent the rest of her life lashing out at anyone and everyone--especially people who weren't even born yet when her problem began. This is called transferrance, when the rage and revenge is misdirected at others.

I suspect that something equally traumatic happened to your dad (and someone else we usually discuss here on DU) and there's a degree of extreme arrested development involved. That's why our usual topic here acts so childish.

You may want to ask older relatives if there was some trauma early in your dad's life. Understanding his mindset will help you realize that the bullying truly wasn't your fault and your recovery will be made easier.

Good luck. You're not alone.