This just flat out sucks

[Maraya1969]

12. My mom lingered on for over a year after Hospice said she would die and I remember wanting it to be

over. At that point she was just laying in a bed sleeping most of the day. She had to be hand fed because she couldn't move her hands anymore. I remember asking a lady from Hospice if I would feel relief after she finally passed and she told me, "Yes". But that is not what happened. Even though so much of it was terrible in so many ways I wish she was still here.

One suggestion: Because my mom couldn't talk I spent a lot of time talking about myself, something I didn't do much in previous years, (long story) I also told her about all the good things about my childhood, like vacations we took and things that she did that I appreciated but never said. It was a great opportunity and I'm so glad that I told her those things. She would smile when I talked.

But it can be maddening also. She had help during the day when she stayed with me but every single night when I was changing her to go to bed she would refuse to let me put on a new Depends. I would have to go through this whole thing showing her how light the new Depends was and how heavy the other one was to prove that she pee'd in it. It was never any different.

I spoke to a lot of people who had been through the same and that helped. I'd say even if she is driving you nuts try and savor your time with her because when they are gone they are gone.