Is there anything more heartbreaking than to watch your loved one deteriorating in their mind?
Your mom is lucky in one respect and that’s because she has you and Mrs. G taking care of her. What do folks do who have this disease who don’t have family members to look out for them? Boggles my mind. I wish our lawmakers were more supportive of family caregiving, but that’s a whole other direction. Hillary was the only one who seemed to understand.
First and foremost, though, Don’t beat yourself up for feeling a relief that she may not last through this much longer! You’re NOT wishing for her to die. You’re wishing for a relief for her from a horrible disease from which there’s no cure.
When my mom had a plethora of health and mental problems at the end of her life, she eventually ended up on dialysis. She HATED it and made big trouble for all the staff and other patients at the dialysis center (screaming, fighting them, upsetting the other patients). Between all the other problems she had, and this on top of it, her life was one big misery. My sis and I decided we just couldn’t put her through it any more. Her doctors supported us in our decision to put her on palliative care. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever faced, but I think we did the right thing. She lasted about a week, and then died in her sleep.
Don’t forget you have many of us here at DU who feel for your situation and I hope you can draw strength from that thought when times seem impossible.
Wishing all of you better times. ….
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