I get it...new trauma and digging into childhood psyche abuse is gonna make Holidays triggering

[synni]

8. I feel for you

In the past few weeks, my therapist has helped me realize that my family wasn't just mildly dysfunctional, but outright abusive.

I see now that my love for my family was actually trauma bonding (Google it, you'll be glad you did).

I'm determined to heal as best I can, but at this point, I'm done with crying. Now I'm angry. 51 years of my life, wasted, because they isolated me, controlled me, and screwed me over financially.

Thank God I have a supportive therapist and social worker helping me get through this. It's the beginning of my new life, which I want to live to the fullest. But I have to process the garbage, first.

In a rather symbolic act, I've spent the past few weeks going through things in every room, tossing out the useless items and donating the useful ones that I don't need. It's been liberating.

As a bonus, it's been a little like Christmas in advance. Today, I found lots of clothing items that I didn't know I had. Some fit me now, others will fit as I continue losing weight.

This, trying to eat better, trying to get out m ore, and doing relaxation techniques...all part of my self-care mission.

I wish the best for anyone else going through hsomething similar.