Ugh!!

[HereSince1628]

9. I'm really beyond him and my ex, however I may never be over

how my family embraced him. That still twists my knickers, after years. Somehow it's rubbing a still painful early wound.

When my mother died, my siblings presented me with a bundle full of letters that Kenny had sent to my parents, and that my mother had saved.

Apparently the cuckolder worked his way into a close relationship with them. The letters and cards repeatedly stated they were better than his own parents. He thanked my mother for the christmas and birthday cards and mentionded exchanges of presents and visits over the ~8 years between my divorce and my maternal chromosome sources death.

My mother had sent him, the guy that cuckolded me, presents and cards and had gone to northwestern WI to visit him and my ex who was apparently the type of daughter they wanted but didn't get--during the same period in which I wasn't notified, and found out by chance months after, that my father had died. My siblings thought my parents relationship with this cuckolder was a great thing.

So during the wake, my siblings gathered around to present me with those letters...apparently wanting to see my face when they dropped that bomb on me. THAT twisted me, left me feeling they had purposefully attempted to hurt me.

Still does for that matter.

The therapists all said it's just my illness making me feel that way...they recommended doing deep breathing, smelling vanilla room spray, and practicing right mindfulness...there is no injustice in the world, it's just the heightened sensitivity of neural nets in my frontal lobe.