Dear White Progressive Liberals, It's me Cordell and I have a dream

[Skidmore]

3. I hear you, and

Last edited Fri Aug 14, 2015, 09:29 AM - Edit history (1)

I'm so sorry. Thank you for taking the time to write your experiences. I am probably old enough to be your mother or perhaps your grandmother. I wrote a bit of my family story a couple of days ago here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=7066968


I guess I want to add something to this that I should have written then. Those of us who are family members do understand the fear and pain because we share it with you. It is extremely painful to witness the pain and hateful behavior and words that our loved ones have endured. And there are many times we get a real taste of the hatred too in the glares of strangers and the stilted speech. Sometimes it is outright shaming, as happened to my niece recently when she took her newborn with her to the store and was lectured by an older woman about how shameful it was that she had this baby. This innocent child was a threat to her in what way? Sometimes we lose birth family contacts because we have chosen to follow our hearts. I have lost a brother this way. Sometimes we get the furnace blast of epithets. The latest one I have been called is "whigger." It does not hurt me anymore but it makes me angry.

What hurts me is when my husband and I go into a place of business and the salesperson tries to do conduct business with me only. My husband and I have a little routine we do to direct the person to his presence and the fact that we are a couple. If the person does not "get it" after a brief exchange, we take our business elsewhere. I refuse to engage with anyone who will not acknowledge his presence and extend the same respect or courtesy to him as they do me. He does the same for me too because I have had occasions when I experience the flip side of this. It does happen but not often.


I guess I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, and that I agree with you. White progressives/liberals do need to step up. It's not enough to have a black person in your circle of casual friends or in the congregation at church or the classroom or as a colleague at work. It is not enough to mouth agreement with political positions and then not engage at a personal level in your life. I always come back to how can people not see the humanity of others. I so want people to see what I see in this good man with whom I have spent so many decades. And I want them to see the humanity of the people in the AA community. I want them to respect and acknowledge people in other venues. I want them to stand up as "allies" when it is needed and not when it is too late and there is another statistic to add to those harmed.

There is so much in my heart right now that cannot express adequately. The bit I have written has hopefully been put out there in words that can be taken in the way they are intended. Peace to you and yours. I'm so sorry that you have been hurt.