I am struggling to handle internal conflict inside me.

[BlueKota]

I was raised Catholic but left the church for a number of reasons I have gone into in other forums. I won't go back into them here.

My faith in God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and Mary, and the rest of the saints are still there. What I am struggling with is I have always been taught we are not supposed to hate others. We are supposed to turn the other cheek and forgive. Yet I feel like it would be lying to God if I said I didn't hate the Maga leaders and their cult members. I feel that hate because they do nothing but willfully harm others who have nothing to harm them.

I believe that is evil and that's why I feel such anger towards them. I would never act out that anger physically, as I believe in non violence. I do sometimes, however beg God in my prayers to punish them. Today when I saw a video of a counter protester saying God bless DT, I found myself saying God F DT. Now I feel guilty.

I said the Act of Contrition, but I still feel like it's dishonest of me to say to myself or God that I can ever feel anything but pure disgust for dt and the rest of them. How am I not supposed to hate people who get joy from hurting other people, and who literally do everything they can to make other people's lives miserable? I mean what about Hitler and Stalin? Were people supposed to love and forgive them. Does anyone else feel this conflict and how do I cope with it?