We get text messages instead

[orleans]

19. sending both you and your wife heartfelt condolences and love

i was going to say maybe this texting crap is due to a generational thing, but after i reread your post i see your sister didn't phone either.

so that kind of rules out my "it's a generational thing" theory.

how did you initially let people know he had passed? now i'm thinking if you texted them to begin with then maybe they are just following your lead and thinking you have a lot to handle and they don't want to interfere. (just a thought/guess)

my mom didn't want a funeral--there weren't that many people in her life to be filling up the seats at a funeral home. so we didn't have one. instead, we had a memorial service for her (a year later!), and did a few little things such as donating books to the library (they would let me come & look over the book before it went on the shelf and then they put a name plate inside it in her honor & memory.)

the "memorial" was at our house, and it was an open house that began in the early afternoon and people could come and go all day. a few of my daughter's friends stayed until two or three in the morning. we had a buffet with all her favorite foods & candies & deserts, served her favorite drinks, played a video slideshow that just ran all day on a laptop set up in the living room, and filled the house with the music she loved. it was fairly informal, and fairly low stress which was important. we gathered, we told stories, we cried, we laughed. and i felt strong enough to be around these people by that time.

i hope both you and your wife find comfort in the days ahead. it's such a stressful and sad time--she is fortune to have you there to help her and hold her.


orleans