On the words "slut" and "prude"

[gollygee]

I read this article about how teen girls are called "sluts" if they send boys sexual texts, and "prudes" if they don't. It made me angry, as these types of articles do, particularly as I have a daughter who will be a teenager very soon.

Why must girls and women get put into these stupid and fabricated roles of "slut" or "prude." We're supposed to find this nonexistent space between the two, where we are sexually avaiable and enticing, but at the same time "nice girls." Both words are controlling and demonizing. It's part of the virgin/whore thing. No one can win and I think that's the point.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/06/18/girls_sexting_study_finds_young_women_are_called_sluts_if_they_sext_prudes.html?wpsrc=upworthy

Here's a bit from the article:

In addition, girls who didn't sext were also described as "goody girls" or "stuck up." So while the technology is new, the ancient sense of male entitlement to demand sexual favors and then mock those who provide them is the real issue at stake here.

On top of the utter unfairness of all of this, it's also hard to imagine that girls have much mental energy left to devote to figuring out what they want when they have to spend so much time trying to strike a balance between pleasing boys and not having boys mock them for trying to be pleasing. That's why this isn't a problem that will be fixed simply by discouraging girls from sending sexts. The real issue can't be solved until we ask why it is, in the 21st century, that so many girls still feel like their sexualities should be constructed around what boys want of them, and encourage girls to realize that it's far more important to figure out what they want for themselves.