BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 04:42 PM
Original message |
My depression and anxiety is keeping me from having a boyfriend. |
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Edited on Thu Jan-10-08 04:43 PM by CarolinaPeridot
I always over obsess to the point of no return and I end up with nothing. My bf and I broke up today. I can't sleep and I don't want to eat. I have been through this before but each time the pain feels the same. To be in love with someone who you thought felt the same for you but then a week later changes their tune makes me want to grab a bat. Or maybe I got my hopes up too high. I spoke too soon. I miss him already and there is nothing I can do. He told me that he just like kissing me ... just liked kissing me ? I hate him. I hate him. Hate is such a strong term but I feel like I need a sedative right now.
7 months is better than being married for 7 years and having him leave me ... fuck it - I don't want to fall in love again. Fuck love . You hear me ? FuCK YOU CUPID !
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CreekDog
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Thu Jan-10-08 04:48 PM
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And Britney Spears too.
I'm sorry for your sadness and frustration. :hug:
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gmoney
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Thu Jan-10-08 07:36 PM
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22. People are like that. |
Oeditpus Rex
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Thu Jan-10-08 04:52 PM
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2. Boy, do I know how *that* goes |
Writer
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Thu Jan-10-08 04:54 PM
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Here is a hug for you. :hug:
I suffer from anxiety and depression, too, and it is a bear of a thing to carry around when trying to form relationships of ANY kind. I wouldn't, however, focus on your break-up as a statement about you, but about your relationship. Your relationship may have ended, but YOU haven't ended. It's rough at first, of course, but you are still whole and can carry on.
So here's another hug for you. :hug: You can make it through.
~Writer~
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:13 PM
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9. I feel like someone just threw me at the wall. |
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If I would have kept my mouth closed but who knew... it was bound to happen sooner or later. I really loved this guy. But he was not ready for what I had to offer. I think its his loss.
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Writer
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
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Onward and upward, I say.
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:15 PM
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11. I over react too much. |
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I feel sick .. in the mind. I need some help and prayer. Its going to take some time but I will make it.
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Writer
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:21 PM
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15. Oh heavens... if I could count the moments when I've told myself... |
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how "unstable" or "mentally ill" I am. I would be up all night reciting numbers.
What you're feeling, I think, is momentary. It's only a reaction to the situation at hand. Perhaps you've turned the hurt inside, blaming yourself somehow. But the truth is you're being much too hard on yourself. You are just fine, although it doesn't seem that way.
It's so hard to see clearly through the veil of depression/anxiety. But it's only a temporary filter.
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crim son
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Thu Jan-10-08 04:56 PM
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4. Just liked kissing you. |
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It sounds like he's a jackass. You may suffer from depression and anxiety but does that excuse him from misrepresenting himself to you?
I also suffer from anxiety and depression and tend to screw things up. The right guy can be a terrific support. The wrong guy just makes it worse, delays recovery and destroys one's already damaged self-esteem. Don't blame yourself for this one.
Very sorry, CarolinaPeridot. :hug:
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 06:18 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
18. I feel too much sometimes. |
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I am singing the should have known better song but I won't let him see me cry thats for damn sure.
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Fox Mulder
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:01 PM
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5. I know how that feels. |
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I have both depression and anxiety also.
But I haven't had an SO for a long time now.
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billyskank
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:04 PM
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Greyskye
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:06 PM
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
8. I am too numb right now to feel. |
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Just two weeks ago he told me that we were going to have a great year together. Now I feel like shit.
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cabraverde
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:16 PM
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12. I will say a prayer for you, I hope you feel better soon |
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There are plenty of fish in the ocean and plenty of good single guys out there, you will find the right one.
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:18 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
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But I should have known better.
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GoddessOfGuinness
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:21 PM
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14. Do you really miss him? |
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Or is it companionship of the person you thought he was that you're missing?
He's shown his true colors to you now. He was on his best behavior until he figured out that he didn't want to be with you after all.
Don't be in a hurry to fall for anyone. Give yourself time to enjoy your self. Be gentle and kind to you...that's what you need most right now. Make some new friends and surround yourself with those who are most loving and supportive of you.
I'm so sorry you're hurting...You deserve much better! :hug::hug::hug:
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:22 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
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but in due time I will be over him.
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crispini
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Thu Jan-10-08 05:48 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
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Also, :hug:
And be kind to yourself.
Soon you'll feel like blasting "I Will Survive" -- because YOU WILL. Survive and thrive! :grouphug:
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Parche
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Thu Jan-10-08 06:42 PM
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 06:44 PM
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GoddessOfGuinness
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Thu Jan-10-08 07:50 PM
Response to Reply #19 |
25. Was this tune written by Barry Manilow? |
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It reminds me of his style.
The tune in the chorus is a direct lift from Rachmaninoff's 2nd Symphony...
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Scout
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Thu Jan-10-08 07:27 PM
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21. see your doctor ... better living through chemistry |
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my anxiety is much better since i started taking Celexa ... see your doctor!
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Bucky
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Thu Jan-10-08 07:44 PM
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23. Wow. Thank you for venting so honestly. |
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It's good to vent. I don't think you should take chemicals. It sounds like your body is producing more than enough of them as it is. I think you need a vacation from stressers. I also really hope you remember that the roller coaster you're on is 90% chemical.
Oh, and a big fat hug to ya, too. It will get better.
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 07:57 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
26. I still feel like swinging a bat. |
Bucky
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Thu Jan-10-08 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
29. Carolina, that is AWESOME therapy |
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You'd be surprised at the curative powers derived from a $20 investment at the Pottery Barn and a Louiville slugger.
Just remember to wear goggles.
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Roon
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Thu Jan-10-08 07:49 PM
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24. That's my problem too |
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Ended a 15-year-relationship then ended a four year relationship. I resigned myself to the fact that I will never find a compatible partner,so I just live with it. :-)
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amitten
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Fri Jan-11-08 02:12 AM
Response to Reply #24 |
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There's love in this big world for all of us. Every one. :hug:
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Canuckistanian
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Thu Jan-10-08 08:02 PM
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I once had a girlfiend who left me in September because "she just wanted a relationship for the summertime". No other explanation.
Love sucks.
But, as Woody Allen says, "we need the eggs".
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-10-08 08:03 PM
Response to Reply #27 |
28. These motherfuckers should just be sent to an island of heartless users. |
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So I can just bomb the sonabitch . Sorry if I sound upset because I am .
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Canuckistanian
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Thu Jan-10-08 09:42 PM
Response to Reply #28 |
30. Well, you're angry. Understandable. |
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I think people express anger over lost relationships because they want to feel {i]something.
That's not how I dealt with loss. I went into deep depression, shunning people, listening to music and exercising.
Oh, and working hard.
As a result, I graduated at the top of my class at school that year.
So even personal disasters can turn into personal victories. Even if you'd rather not go through it again.
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Fri Jan-11-08 02:00 AM
Response to Reply #30 |
34. Yeah I am going to concentrate making straight As in college. |
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Thanks I am feeling better now :)
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Taverner
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Thu Jan-10-08 09:46 PM
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Everything in life gives you life points. The goal is to collect as many as you can, however there won't be a counting afterwards so you'll never know who "won." But collect as many as you can.
Relationships give you 100 points for every month you're in them. But other things give you points. Paintings get you 100 each. Shit, just about anything will give you some amount of points. Some, more than others. Sometimes, getting the points is a pain, but you need those points. Sometimes, getting the points isn't worth it.
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Javaman
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Thu Jan-10-08 10:13 PM
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32. Cupid works for a multinational. Kind of explains everything. nt |
Faygo Kid
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Thu Jan-10-08 10:19 PM
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33. I'm so sorry. But you need to rely on yourself. |
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Overobsessing "to the point of no return" is not good, and you know it. You would advise those you care about not to do it. Cut yourself some slack, buy that book you always wanted, get out and volunteer at an animal shelter. Don't let him control you this way. You will only end up with something when you are comfortable in your own skin. And don't rationalize about 7 months or 7 years; pain is pain. It's OK to feel pain. It's not OK to hate, or to beat yourself up about it. Please don't "always obsess." If you do, talk to somebody. Take care of yourself, and your value doesn't depend on anybody else.
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amitten
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Fri Jan-11-08 02:14 AM
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36. If this is a pattern that has lasted many years, don't hesitate to |
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seek treatment for yourself (for the depression and anxiety, I mean).
And that jerk ain't worth your misery. No one is. :hug:
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DesEtoiles
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Fri Jan-11-08 02:25 AM
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37. More than half of all marriages end in divorce - there are not a lot of |
Quantess
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Fri Jan-11-08 02:33 AM
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38. you just haven't met the right person yet. |
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That, or you choose the wrong ones. I was choosing the wrong ones for a while. One of them had the worst case of anxiety i'd ever seen, and i thought we could identify on that level, but no. i was crushed when he said we should break up. But when i look back, i wonder what i ever saw in him. Truly, what was i thinking? One day, you will wonder the same thing about this guy.
But I have anxiety and depression too, and i have a nice, loving boyfriend. He didn't figure that out for a long time, because i was happy when we were together and he made me feel relaxed.
But if you're saying obsess as in obsessed with your 'relationship', you need to stop! For god's sake, at least ACT casual. You're best keeping him at an arm's length until you know he's crazy about you.
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Fri Jan-11-08 02:39 AM
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Catsbrains
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Fri Jan-11-08 03:01 AM
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UndertheOcean
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Fri Jan-11-08 06:14 AM
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41. all love in unrequited |
LeftyFingerPop
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Fri Jan-11-08 07:13 AM
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You are beating yourself up. There are many people with depression and anxiety that are able to have successful relationships.
Everyone has something that is less than perfect about them, whether it be depression, some other illness, etc.
You need to understand that a person who truly cares about you will not dump you for your imperfections.
I know it is hard to see now, but based on your OP only, one might make the assumption that the break up is not your fault. Someone telling you he "just likes kissing you" indicates some kind of huge disconnect on HIS part, not yours.
As hard as it may seem to do right now, please try not to blame yourself. The fact of the matter is, people can be fucking idiots, especially men. I'm sorry to say this, and I don't want to slander all men, but I believe that many men out there do not have a clue about what it takes to tend to another person's needs in a relationship.
Based on your OP, you are better off without him. The good news? There IS someone out there for you, and you will find him.
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