Can any women or men explain my wife's reaction to the book "Shopgirl"

[redirish28]

My wife has "fallen in love" with Steve Martin's novellas "The Pleasure of my Company" and "Shopgirl" Now one thing I don't understand is that "Shopgirl" makes her cry even though she has read and listen to the book 20 times and has seen the movie a dozen of time as well. And even though the Younger man gets the girl my wife felt the Older man and the Girl should have gotten back together. What is more crazy in my mind is that even though she knows this book makes her cry she still read/listens to it and goes through the mourning process again.


I'm not trying to insult my wife I just don't understand why she keeps going back to this novella if it tears her up that way.

I mean I love to read too I feel like the characters are alive when I read the book but I can't wrap my head around this.

[Merlot]

1. Loved the movie, didn't read the book.

It's such a simple, emotional story, very well told. I still remember it vividly which says something about it.

Though I disagree with your wife about the older man and young woman getting back together. I loved that she rebounded and found a like soul.

But the thing is, sometimes it's nice to have those emotions provoked. It's not a bad thing, the occasional emotional release.

[redirish28]

5. I think you should read the book. My wife likes the book a little more than the movie

She says the book is more indepth and gives more of the story.

[Merlot]

11. I don't read fiction, but isn't it true that the book is ALWAYS better than film?

You know, there are some movies I will occasionally watch again, knowing that it will cause me to cry - again.

[dimbear]

12. Two thoughts...

First, that the movie of "The Maltese Falcon" is better than the book, though they appeared in the usual order.

Second, that the book is sometimes written later, after the success of the movie, and those are awful. Usually.

[obxhead]

2. I can't explain it to you either, but

when you figure out the answer I recommend selling it on late night TV in a DVD format for $9.99 plus s&h. You'll make a fortune.

[Cassandra]

3. A friend calls this cinematherapy...

also available in book form. There's something in the story that echos from her childhood; an incident, a decision she made about herself or someone else, a wish she had. Why don't you ask her what part touches her the most and why? That might be helpful to her if you ask and are prepared to listen patiently.

[redirish28]

4. I tried asking her one time and she really didn't know how to explain it

to me. She just felt that both characters stood "Naked" emotional facing one another and hurt one another and grew from that hurt and felt if they got back together they would be better for one another and make each other better.


I will say she only dated one other man before she and I got together. He was 4 years older (not really that big of an age difference) but she always was attracked to older men... 10...15 years older.

I'm actually 2 years younger.

[Cassandra]

13. How is/was...

her relationship with her father (or perhaps an uncle)? Perhaps some emotional growth (or lack) came from hurting each other?

[redirish28]

14. That might be. Her father was very distant in the past.

[rox63]

6. Haven't seen or read that particular story, but

Haven't you ever had a story touch you in a way nothing else could? I have. Just not that one. Have you ever seen a movie or read a book a dozen times, and you find something new each and every time?

[redirish28]

7. Yeah but she knows this story inside and out and it like she knows the

story but yet everytime she cries.

[housewolf]

8. Reminds me of when I watched the video of "Terms of Endearment" over and over again

Each time I re-experienced the sadness/grief of that young woman's death, so alive, so personable, so quirky, such an individual. It was complicated to explain, even to myself, why I felt compelled to revisit the story so many times. But... bear with me now... and stepping aside from the judgment of experiencing so-called negative feelings - there was something enlivening about being touched so deeply and experiencing that depth of feeling that movie evoked in me. It touched a place that I didn't experience in live very often, and - as difficult as this is to understand - bringing that depth to the surface was somehow validating, enriching, enlivening. Somehow cleansing, freeing, a release of buried grief.

[Merlot]

10. Ok, you said it MUCH better than I could!

especially this:

"bringing that depth to the surface was somehow validating, enriching, enlivening."

[Betsy Ross]

9. Endorphins? Crying makes some feel good. n/t

[BlueIris]

15. Cathartic release? Everyone needs a good cry now and again.

But why get it from reading/watching "Shopgirl"? I dunno. Not really the bestest book evar, if you ask me (a little dry, and Steve was clearly insecure with himself as a novelist).

[Fire Walk With Me]

16. She feels for the older man's lonliness, sorrow, and self-perceived inadequacy.