Paris Hilton arrested for cutting cheese: "Horrible! No underwear!"

[SteveM]

An article appearing in The Booming Bloomers Riport contends that the star known for being a star broke wind, heavily, while being questioned by police in connection with a sugar cane charge.

"It wasn't illegal to rip the burlap," reports Sgt. Gus T. Zephyr, "but without any sort of undergarment, a window was cracked at the Blazing Deli. The charges are really vandalism and violation of the noise abatement ordinance."

Some would say "ordnance."

"I was shocked!" Exclaimed Floozy Woozy, a regular diner at Blazing. "I was looking around for a plane flying into a building, or whatever. She should be hoisted by her own petard!"

It appears the professional celebrity will indeed suffer just that.

"We have a cell," says Sgt. Zephyr, "where there is plenty of air let in, but no gasses are ever let out. She'll learn the airs of her way, or experience auto-induced methane poisoning. She has responsible choices."

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