Atheist; What do you think about when you are at a religious service?

[edhopper]

I have found myself at churches and temples for various family events and the main thing I think about in terms of the religious service, is how much time and resources are wasted on an imaginary concept. All this effort to think about and pray and worship a God that isn't there.
It's okay because I am there for family and friends, so I sit through it all and then enjoy or comfort the ones I love. But a lot of it still feels like a colossal waste. How do other atheist feel about this?

Believers are free to chime in.

[Scuba]

1. How soon it will end. n/t

[Atman]

2. Yeah, that was my response.

I also tend to find myself wondering if I'm getting the stink-eye because I'm not bowing my head, and I'm just looking around the room at all the people talking to themselves.

[Ed Suspicious]

9. Oh, I've been there. I usually just play along out of respect for

other's practices. I often take the opportunity to examine my own believes during the head bowing time. I also figure there's no point in proselytizing toward my disbelief, so I just try to stay inconspicuous. What I do have a problem with is the singing and out-loud praying (professing on ones faith) that goes on. I usually bow my head here as well.

[Ian David]

3. I just think about porn. n/t

[Scuba]

5. A dirty mind means never being bored. n/t

[RevStPatrick]

19. You beat me to it! Porn all the way!

I used to have this girlfriend who loved to tell this story:

She was Jewish, but not raised religious at all. When she was 13 or 14 years old, she went with a friend's family to church for some reason. She was awestruck by the naked man on the cross! And not just your average naked man on a cross, but a BEAUTIFUL naked man on a cross! And his mother was a virgin! And the statues of her were totally vaginal. My god, this is one sexy religion, she thought. She said that her friend's parents noticed that she was flushed, and assumed that she was inspired by the sermon. No, she was just really horny from sitting there staring at the trim, muscular naked man on the cross.

Ever since that time, she was always into long-haired, scruffy-bearded tanned boys (which I was at the time we were together), and she said that she often thought of Jesus when she was having sex.

I'm sure that kind of thing is fairly common...

[inademv]

4. I simply don't go

I get some scorn/disapproval from some of my family when I refuse to go to religiously centered things such a marriages or funeral services (the part at the church, not the actual burial which I would/do go to).

[amyrose2712]

6. I think about that too, even if there was a god. Still wasteful.

I know of 2 places in my area where churches are being built. But yet the Community Food Bank is struggling. Boggles my mind.

[enough]

7. I tend to think about why and how this sort of thing evolved, why so many people

are attracted to it and loyal to it, is it overall a good thing or a bad thing? Also, why am I not attracted to it, even during the most difficult times in life when I desperately wish I could believe in it because I know I would find it a comfort but I just can't get there myself.

Also, what's for lunch.

[Kali]

8. I try very hard to avoid those situations, but when it happens

I usually listen to whatever the message is (if some kind of sermon or whatever). On some occasions I get giggly because I tend to hear Monty Python versions of that stuff in my head.

Chaplain: Let us praise God. O Lord...
Congregation: O Lord...
Chaplain: ...Ooh, You are so big...
Congregation: ...ooh, You are so big...
Chaplain: ...So absolutely huge.
Congregation: ...So absolutely huge.
Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...
Congregation: And barefaced flattery.
Chaplain: But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
Congregation: Fantastic.
Humphrey: Amen.
Congregation: Amen.

and

Chaplain: Oh Lord, please don't burn us/Don't grill or toast your flock/Don't put us on the barbecue/Or simmer us in stock/Don't braise or bake or boil us/Or stir-fry us in a wok/Oh please don't lightly poach us/Or baste us with hot fat/Don't fricassee or roast us/Or boil us in a vat/And please don't stick thy servants Lord/In a Rotiss-o-mat.

[Ed Suspicious]

15. Way too funny.

Last night in my comparative world religions class, our Jewish teacher from Israel showed us a portion of "The Life of Brian" after we learned about the different sects in Judaism that lead to the Rabbinic period. He showed the scene at the Colosseum. I always found this scene to be funny, but it's a real gem when you actually have some understanding of the sectarianism from the time. It was a good class last night. Always look on the brighter side of life.

[DURHAM D]

10. I make paper airplanes and water bombs out of the program/bulletin. nt

[woodsprite]

11. Ours is filled with music and I'm part of the choir and handbell groups,

so if I'm not participating, I'm enjoying listening to the sermon and comments from other people. We're a congregation, community oriented Presbyterian church. Our service is 1 hr long, but only about 10-15 min of that is actual sermon. Our minister follows the lectionary, but speaks a lot on what being a "christ follower" in today's world means. Our church is liberal and she brings in current events, etc., so I'm not often bored. If I am, I whip out my cell phone or a piece of paper and start making a list of what I need for whatever project is on the plate next

OR

I'll read DU :)

[Orrex]

12. I stop thinking, just like everybody else there

Nyuk nyuk nyuk.


Actually, I almost never attend religious events or services. If I wind up at a religious wedding or funeral, I tend to think about the people being honored by the event, rather than about the spiritual subject matter that's of no interest or value to me.

Of course, during the event I keep my mouth shut about it, because it would be a selfishly egotistical act for me to use the moment to proclaim my own views; I defer to the prevailing sensibilities of the occasion.

[MineralMan]

13. I just sit through any such service and think my own thoughts.

I attend weddings and funerals, and once in a while go to a local church if someone is doing a pipe organ recital. Other people's beliefs don't bother me, as long as they behave appropriately in a secular society.

[Kolesar]

14. The times I enjoyed with the deceased

As for weddings, they are mostly secular ceremonies these days and not in a temple.

[no_hypocrisy]

16. I either meditate or think about actions I can take to improve situations when I leave.

[Quartermass]

17. I don't go to Church services and haven't been for years.

[procon]

18. It's about honor, obligation, respect...

for the people involved that I care about. I attend such functions because its part of the social contract that brings us human beings together to share life's important events.

I am generally not threatened or inconvenienced by the concept of religion so I usually just entertain myself with people watching, ogling the ostentatious architectural excesses, or ruminating on the thought processes of those who opt for the flamboyant theatrics and the staged pomp and ceremony in the belief of the supernatural.

It's a reality check that reaffirms why I can't ever be one of "them".

[Warpy]

20. I try to think about anything except the waste of human resources

that went into the pretentious edifice and all the ritual. After all, it's not a waste to anyone but outsiders and people think I'm equally nuts for taking wool off a sheep's back and making my own yarn with it when you can get a serviceable sweater from Walmart for ten bucks.

Mostly, my mind is a million miles away while I wait to get out of there so I can actually visit with the people who insisted we go to church first.

Religion is like pro sports and reality TV to me: something extremely popular with most people but I don't get and will likely never get but will continue to exist whether or not I do.

[Kali]

24. "Religion is like pro sports and reality TV to me: something extremely popular with most people

but I don't get and will likely never get but will continue to exist whether or not I do."

:thumbsup:

[d_r]

21. Isn't it beautiful that people have these ceremonies?

I wouldn't claim to be an atheist or agnostic, I guess it is beyond me to worry too much about those labels, and I guess I believe that anything is possible, but I do think the ceremonies that people do are so quaint. Some of them are just charming. And some of them that are sort of crazy are interesting to listen to also and think "wow, I can't believe that guy just said that." The sociological and anthropological and historical aspects are fascinating, to ponder the meaning and so forth. If I go to someone's church or something for a ceremony that is usually enough to keep me entertained.

My favorite thing ever was when my brother was getting married. At the rehearsal ceremony the preacher led a prayer - this was the time at the beginning of the Iraq invasion and he prayed for God to show Saddam Hussein the light so that he would convert to Christianity, and thereby avert the bloodshed. And he continued "and if that doesn't work, Lord, please just go ahead and kill him."

I'm sorry but that is entertaining. I mean, not enough that I'd want to get up and regularly go through that smack or anything, but enough for the occasion.

[doc03]

22. When is this bull shit ever going to be end?

:shrug:

[EC]

23. Haven't been for years, it was a waste of time for me.

Always was thinking about what I still had left to do when I got home or what was on TV that I was missing, etc.

[Iggo]

25. I only go to church for funerals.

There's usually enough to think about at those functions.

[qb]

26. As a child I found the boredom of church difficult to bear. My mind eventually adapted

so now I take fantastic daydreaming vacations from pointless preachifying.

[MarkCharles]

27. I try to understand how religion has such a hold on those people I know and with whom...

I am sitting.

Usually, I am in one church, where I take an elderly man who cannot drive after dark, and I take him to a Christmas musical service a few days before the holiday. I drive him there, to his old church, 25 miles from where he now lives, I do it to help make him a happier person for having attended.

I spend a few hours with him on that day, usually having a meal before the service, and desert with his friends in the church parish hall after the service. It's sort of a reunion for him, and I have gotten to know a few of his friends on a casual acquaintance basis.

Church isn't at all bad about giving people a chance to have some social interactions with other people they like.

I generally tune out when the preacher guy or woman is telling us all what is in the Bible about the birth of Jesus. I really don't care to hear that fairy tale, nor take it seriously anymore. I usually look at the architecture of the space I'm in, and maybe count the candles.

[Taverner]

28. I look for the hottie in a miniskirt and a tight sweater...

She's always there...

[rug]

29. I thought I was the only one who did that.

[Taverner]

30. Funny thing is, Church was ALWAYS a great place to hook up

Of course, Churches can attract the crazies...and the more beautiful they are, the crazier...

[Thats my opinion]

31. I don't think I would dishonor myself

by attending something I knew before hand I would sit and quietly sneer.

[edhopper]

32. I am not asking about actions

but what are your thoughts as you sit through something you know is absurd.

[skepticscott]

33. Well, perhaps some of us are open-minded enough

to be tolerant of the religious practices and keep any negative thoughts private at an event where our simple presence is important to ourselves or to others.

Apparently not all of us, though.

[darkstar3]

34. Yet you do it here daily, if not so quietly.

[NMMNG]

42. Maybe that's why you've never been exposed to anything that conflicts

with your version of reality. Maybe if you had you wouldn't feel the need to sit and sneer at those who have.

[iris27]

35. Usually? "WOW - this minister didn't know the deceased in the slightest."

Unless it's a wedding or funeral, I simply don't attend. Baptisms and confirmations, IMO, are entirely religious, so I stay home. I pay a social price with my family for doing so, but I have to make my stand somewhere.

[pink-o]

36. I'm only ever in a church for weddings and funerals

I would never go to a sermon, and none of my friends would expect me to. However, when I went to my friend's funeral a couple years ago, her niece was a minister, married to a minister and instead of talking about her aunt's life and what a wonderful woman she was, they spent the entire time trying to get converts to their fundie congregation.

I was disgusted, and took off the minute they started in on that crap. The next day, nobody asked me why I left--they had it figured out, and didn't want an earful from me!

[Meshuga]

37. I am a member of a congregation and I dislike services

When I go, I arrive when the service is about to conclude. The service is usually over at noon and I am there at 11:45 - 11:50.

I just don't get much from the services. My shul has two different groups of participants, the Saturday morning service people and the after service study crowd. I fit in the latter.

However, I volunteer for minyan if there is a need to form one. In this case I don't mind participating since I feel that I am helping in the process of comforting those who are grieving.

[rrneck]

38. "How did I get talked into this shit?" nt

[yankeepants]

39. Again! n//t

[Seagull6]

40. Atheist at Mass

Let's say you are a hard core atheist and your wife/partner is a devout Roman Catholic with advanced breast cancer. She is your soul mate and you love her dearly and want her to live forever. She is the mother of your children, your kayak buddy, your sailboat crew and hiking partner. There's no hope she will survive. She asks you to go to Mass, hold her hand and pray with her. Do you scoff at her faith and patiently wait until Mass is over so you can get out of there? Or do you pray your ass off and hope that she is right and you are wrong and that the Lord will save her? What do you do friends?

[trotsky]

43. False dichotomies are great!

They are definitely a hallmark of simplistic religious thought. Great example!

[deacon_sephiroth]

44. Theist in a hospital

Let's say you are a "hard core" fundamentalist christian and your wife/endentured child factory have a brain tumor. She is your property and you own her and rule over her as is good and proper in the lord's eyes / love her. She asks you to go to the hospital, maybe see a specialist, get treatment. Do you scoff at her devil-science and evil medication, assure her that the ONLY salvation is through the lord, close your eyes and wait for the force to make it all better? Or do you say to yourself: "OK, it's time to cut the crap, and save my wife. We don't live in Palastine during the bronze age, there's no burning bush in my front yard, I haven't stoned a witch in weeks, and I'm starting to think that the lord is NOT going to buy me a Mercedes Benz... OR clear up that tumor."

[Deep13]

41. When can we leave? I wish the guy in the dress would stop lying. nt

[deacon_sephiroth]

45. arts and crafts time for me

I like to take the handouts and scribble over the letters in the words to make other words and see if I can't make some sentences, it's like a crossword. Either that or I listen to the sermon and quietly point out all the errors or what's out of context, or where it's contradicted, makes me feel like I know more about the book than they do.... which is statistically true....

[sakabatou]

46. When I go to shul with my parents

We usually go for the Torah service and hope it gets out before noon.