Nation Wants Some Fucking Football, Doesn’t Give Shit About Details Of Collective Bargaining Agrmnt

[joeybee12]

WASHINGTON—Following the announcement Monday that NFL owners and players had reached a deal to end their 132-day labor dispute, Americans across the nation expressed their desire for some goddamn football already and acknowledged they didn’t give two shits about the boring-ass details of the collective bargaining agreement.

The majority of the U.S. populace confirmed that nobody even cares about the stupid structure, length, or impact of the new CBA, calling for sports columnists, analysts, and broadcasters to “shut the hell up about lame revenue-sharing shit” and demanding the NFL play some football “right fucking now.”

At press time, Americans wondered why the hell no footballs had been snapped yet.

“Yes, great, I’m thrilled the NFL won’t have to cancel any of the 2011 season, but I don’t want to hear anything else about numbers or caps or any of that new money rules shit,” said 42-year-old Rick Baldwin, a contractor in St. Louis. “Just go, dammit. Go out on the field and play a fucking game.”

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/nation-wants-some-fucking-football-doesnt-give-shi,21026/