Girls night Out

[JitterbugPerfume]

The big night is finally here! We are going to the rock concert at Indy.
In my purse there is a half pint of Smirnoff . On the floor board there is a six pack of Mountain Dew
In the tape deck the Eagles ar wailing out ""If it all falls to pieces tomorrow , will you still be mine---Just take it to the limit one more time" We are singing along
We are divorced moms , both wise and innocent, scared and fearless ,in our tight jeans and tee shirts. We work at dead end jobs , often sharing food,or lending a sister twenty bucks till child support day ,which often does not come
We are ready for anything life throws our way

we tell ourselves

[Rising Phoenix]

1. have a great night!

[JitterbugPerfume]

4. Iam now an old woman

It is a memory of days gone by

[Rising Phoenix]

5. oh, I didn't realize, I just saw it on the latest threads

well written though, I want to know how it turns out

[Old and In the Way]

2. Sounds like the start of a great novel.....

or at least a night of good fun.

Tom Robbins would be proud! :-)

[JitterbugPerfume]

3. Thank you

a true story of long ago

No names (to protect the guilty)

[bliss_eternal]

6. Nice work!

Just wanted to encourage your art--carry on!

:hi:

[petgoat]

7. This sets the scene and sketches the characters real vividly, and

makes you want to know the characters better and makes you wonder what's
going to happen next.

I like the way it goes from specific telling detail (Smirnoff and MD and
the Eagles) to generalization about the lives of the characters, a pithy
statement of their philosophy about it, and your narrator's ironically
detached comment. Great stuff!

The "there is"s in line two are a bit wordy, though. Wouldn't
"In my purse is a half pint of Smirnoff; on the floor board a six pack
of Mountain Dew."

The Smirnoff shows this must be a celebration!

I want to know what happens next.

[oneighty]

8. Nice story Miss Jitterbug

Recipe?

180

[JitterbugPerfume]

9. yes LOTS of recipe

Recipe is half dew half vodka

mmmmmmmmmm recipe

[petgoat]

10. half dew half vodka is rocket fuel--that being the case, I really want to

know what happens to these ladies when they get to the concert.

Please take this piece from vignette to story. In a few lines you paint
the situation, the times, the characters, a forthcoming event, and a
really intriguing narrator. Please continue!