JitterbugPerfume
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Sat Sep-10-05 11:54 AM
Original message |
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Edited on Sat Sep-10-05 11:59 AM by JitterbugPerfume
We finally arrived at the Arena. In my over size purse, hidden under make up ,and a couple of books ,lurked the remains of the bottle of Smirnoff.
At the gate a guard checked concert goers for signs of contraband. he said "Hey ma'm what do you have in that purse?" "why nothin' darlin' "I replied.I opened my purse and thrust it forward for him to inspect
He said "Go on in ma'm , I ain't goin' there"
I blew him a kiss as I walked away As we entered the Arena we were greeted with a cachophony of sound as the band warmed up. It was a new kid from southern Indiana called Johnny Cougar ,and the consensus among us was that he had the best looking butt in Rock'n Roll.
And Oh man! Did he ever know how to strut his stuff--
The air was filled with smoke some Marlboro
some Mary Jane
The excitment was palpable as the lights went down
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
The light from a thousand bic lighters filled the arena I PRESENT TO YOU JOHNNY COUGAR
THe applause was deafening as the crowd called out his name in unison
He walked up to the microphone and struck his guitar.
THe vibrations were penetrating and exciting -even orgasmic
" little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane"
He preened ,he strutted
Every woman wanted him
"Two American kids,living in the heart land"
He danced across the stage . His air fell into his eyes and he slung it back , like a lion slinging his mane Our breath came short and shallow. Our eyes folowed his ever move
Some young boys sitting behind us passed us a joint . We toked deeply
They told us there was a party later. We strung them along.
"Oh yeah, life goes on , long after the thrill of living is gone"
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oneighty
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Tue Sep-13-05 04:00 PM
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You know if you had only let me know I woulda been happy to go with you girls on your night out.
Next time let me know.
You are giving away private thoughts of girls on their nights out. It is interesting. Indeed. I did not know girls have such desires.
180.
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JitterbugPerfume
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Tue Sep-13-05 04:18 PM
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2. Girls just want to have fun |
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Thank you for your comments
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petgoat
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Thu Sep-15-05 04:47 AM
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3. Okay, good. I still want to know what happens next. Lusting after the |
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performer is pretty safe, unless they're going to try to get back stage. What happens next? Or doesn't happen?
The opening lines could be trimmed a bit. Give us the guard at the gate, and we know you're at the Arena. If you started with
"At the gate my over-sized purse caught the guard's eye" you'd get right to the action. This is really good stuff, and I can't wait to see what happens next! This part focusses more on the narrator. She's a wise-ass. Is she the actor in this piece as well as the observer?
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JitterbugPerfume
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Fri Sep-30-05 01:13 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
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and no--I am not a wise ass
the rest of the story is that we went back home to our families and our responsibilities as single (divorced) moms
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DU
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Wed Oct 22nd 2025, 09:13 PM
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