oneighty
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Tue Dec-07-04 07:26 PM
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Yes! Another Poem Thread! Darkly. |
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I have seen the things that live below. While lying here in silent night listening to the black winds blow!
I have seen the things there, evil and dark me lying here in silent night hearing and feeling my pounding heart.
I have seen the things with rotting flesh and bright red eyes and sulpher breath. Me lying here in silent night eyes froze open in private fright.
I have seen the things of nightmare's dreams I have seen the death of many things I hear the sound of loneliness as a passing train pounds the tracks its Banshee whistle calling me back.
I have seen me walking among those things through a forest, darkened. What does there me bring? Me lying here in silent night or am I there? In this darkest light.
I have seen the things as I toss and turn! Me lying here in silent night shifting about in sweating sleep as I walk with skill the darkened forest.
I have seen those things as they walk with me, or is it me walking with them? It cannot be as I toss about, as I am a man and they are not. Me lying here in silent night.
Clearer now I see those things strange it is; they look like me. I have seen those things of nightmare's dreams, as closer now we each do bring. Me lying here in silent night.
The truth comes now to me in dawning's light. Those things I see that live below. The things that look a lot like me. Me lying here in dawning's light.
I have seen those things that live below reflections of myself I know. The sins I have done come home to me. Me lying here in screaming fear!
Oh my 180!
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NMDemDist2
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Tue Dec-07-04 07:28 PM
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1. dark is right........ n/t |
JitterbugPerfume
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Tue Dec-07-04 07:36 PM
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cool poem, but it sure is ominous
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zeemike
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Tue Dec-07-04 07:43 PM
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But now I challenge you to write just the opposite One that will make the spirit fly upward into the light. Think you can do it? Show us your versatility and skill.
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NMDemDist2
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Tue Dec-07-04 07:46 PM
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oneighty
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Tue Dec-07-04 08:05 PM
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7. Hey that was a fun poem to write |
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I wrote that about thirty years ago when we lived on the edge of a swamp near the Santee River Delta! Lotta strange things happen there.
I like a challenge!
The Lover.
The Lover Like spring air Smelling of new life, Lilacs and roses Filters through cracks Under doors Beneath windows And quietly settles Beside you As you sleep. The Lover kisses The tears from Your eyes Draws forth From your sweet Mouth, the fears Of yesterday. He leaves As he came. Silent.
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zeemike
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Tue Dec-07-04 08:12 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
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Edited on Tue Dec-07-04 08:14 PM by zeemike
And I thought it was written by a younger person.
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oneighty
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Tue Dec-07-04 08:23 PM
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I wrote the dark poem about thirty-five years ago. It was a poem fitting for that dark period.
'The Lover' I wrote for JitterbugPerfume recently because she asked me to write a poem just for her. So I did.
Now you give us a poem?
180
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zeemike
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Tue Dec-07-04 08:39 PM
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12. Well poetry is kind of weird for me |
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It only happens when someone says something that strikes some kind of flint in my mind. And then it comes out of me all at once and I have no idea when I start just where it will go.
But here is one that came form a religious discussion I was having some years ago.
Was it only an apple? Just as it was only a man and a woman A garden and a gate Just nakedness and shame.
What about the tree With it's branches and roots It's leaves and microbial interaction with the earth. It was after all the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
And no tree bears fruit without a history. And it was the fruit that opened the eyes, not the tree. And it was not the tree of mankind that felt shame But it's fruit that developed from its maturity.
Simple is the life of man We eat, we breathe, and we die But simple is not the mind of man As it reaches for the sky.
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oneighty
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Tue Dec-07-04 08:54 PM
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13. My own poetic efforts spring forth fully grown. |
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Edited on Tue Dec-07-04 08:56 PM by oneighty
I cannot usually say "I am going to make a poem." I have maybe twenty poems left. I lost quite a few in a fire near said swamp. I have hundreds and hundreds of very short life stories though.
Your effort is just fine. There was more to it than the snake and the apple the tree that bore the apple. The shame is a problem. They, Adam and Eve could not have been aware of shame as they had not yet been taught shame. Do some more?
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By the way..I am seventy years old.
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zeemike
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Tue Dec-07-04 09:38 PM
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19. You know When I first read your poem |
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I did not look at the profile and I had you figured for a young writer (because they seem to enjoy the dark side) I am 62 and I have written a fair amount of poems but never saved many of them because I didn't take myself seriously as a writer. But I might be able to come up with one if you give me a line to start with. It could be a question or some short comment. I don't really know if I can do it without some start and on demand, but I will try.
That one probably made more sense to the person I was having the conversation with than anyone else but she gave me the line...It was only an apple
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zeemike
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Tue Dec-07-04 07:46 PM
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5. I could get you started |
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I have seen the things that live on high. While lying here my love near by listening to the warm winds blow!
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JitterbugPerfume
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Tue Dec-07-04 08:02 PM
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6. post my favorite one , oneighty |
oneighty
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Tue Dec-07-04 08:09 PM
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JitterbugPerfume
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Tue Dec-07-04 08:30 PM
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cerulean_ink
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Tue Dec-07-04 09:08 PM
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14. very nice poetry, aptly titled (n/t) |
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Edited on Tue Dec-07-04 09:12 PM by cerulean_ink
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oneighty
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Tue Dec-07-04 09:18 PM
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15. Thank you cerulean_ink. |
cerulean_ink
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Tue Dec-07-04 09:36 PM
Response to Reply #15 |
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dear destiny
birth, life, death, what comes next? souls in limbo, temples tell you the man upstairs cares for all, save those who fall from grace, faced with eternal anguish, with your demons vanquished, enter in. but if sin comes from within, these souls control destiny. swept from the shores of birth, life, and strife, it all comes with a price, choices, voices sooth us soundless, blind us from our truest progress, faith placed in human hands, demanding destiny listen to the things that we've been missing.
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oneighty
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Tue Dec-07-04 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
oneighty
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Tue Dec-07-04 09:34 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
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I had to rush to my dictionary cerulean_ink to confirm my thoughts.
180
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cerulean_ink
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Tue Dec-07-04 09:37 PM
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just a young man who was always intrigued by that color in the crayola box. :hi:
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oneighty
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Tue Dec-07-04 09:45 PM
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But did it have flavor? The taste of sky and blue sea water?
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cerulean_ink
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Tue Dec-07-04 09:53 PM
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22. unfortunately i haven't had the opportunity yet.. |
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to taste those delicacies firsthand, but one of these days I'll make it to the ocean and finally know nature's true definition of cerulean.
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