Young, Lesbian and afraid

[Aerows]

I knew from the time I was 14 that I was gay. I've always been very femme, which throws a lot of people because they think you have to be a bit "off" in gender roles to love your same sex.

Okay, I love heels and dresses, but I'm not immune to wearing overalls and Docs.

I think about women out there, though, young, lesbian and afraid like I was. Afraid my family was going to disown me (which they did, for a while) my friends would pull back and regard me with wariness, and that the rush of first love would leave me (it did for that particular woman).

If there was a way that I could make it better for one single human being struggling with the idea that Prince Charming wasn't coming, but Princess Charming was, I'd do it.

I'm just sharing my own thoughts on the matter, because someone asked me about it earlier. How do we help our teenagers?

[William769]

1. K&R.

[Aerows]

4. I just heard a heartwrenching story from someone

and I'm a lesbian, but I don't think I'm the best at dealing with it. I care deeply about the community, and then I think, "if I can't, who can?"

Do you know what I mean?

[Aerows]

6. Thanks for listening n/t

[RKP5637]

2. K&R !!! n/t

[dtexdem]

3. Fantastic post!

Keep up the fight!

[Aerows]

5. Texan here - not now

But I lived in Texas for a while. Thank you for the kind words. I'd sincerely appreciate your input since I am directing it at the South. What can we do for our teenagers?

[HockeyMom]

7. A mentor for the teenagers

a trusted adult who has been there, done that, and can provide support. I know my daughter and some of her friends used to talk to their HS lacross assistant and coach. They were both in a committed relationship. The parents? I would recommend PFLAG. My sister-in-law had trouble dealing with both her son's and daughter's sexual orientation (yes, two of her four kids are gay), and PLAG really helped her. They all went to meetings together.

[Aerows]

8. I guess I'm playing the role of trusted adult

And I don't have the faintest clue of what to say, except to relate my own experiences.

What do I say beside relating what I have gone through, without making it worse?

[HockeyMom]

9. Contact your local PFLAG

They offer youth counseling services also.

[Aerows]

10. Good idea

I'll point this out though - I live out in the sticks. A lot of us do. It's not as easy as jumping in the car, riding a bike, or hopping the bus to get to such places.

I'm not making excuses, or deriding your advice as bad - please don't think that because you are absolutely right. Your advice merely calls for more coordination. And that can be a good thing, too. Maybe more than one kid needs to go.

[HockeyMom]

11. Good luck

Maybe they would even come to YOU?

[The Philosopher]

12. Resources and Communication

There's many out there, but there needs to be more. Especially here in the South and the rural areas. If you could make authority-places (like schools) LGBT safe zones, and have LGBT safe people (like school counselors; teachers), that would be a big help. You could have one pro-LGBT authority figure, but if h/she is surrounded by anti-LGBTers and supported by the state in their bigotry, it's a losing battle.

One resource I like, because it allows for privacy, is the Trevor Project. You can go to their website and read through other people's questions and realize that no one is really alone and that there are people out there who want to help you, who can help you. They also provide advice to adults, which is awesome.

[w8liftinglady]

13. I agree...especially lgbt teens in rural areas.

I knew I was bi when I was 12. there was never any resource for gay teens in my early years. There is still a lot of bullying in rural areas. They need to know there is a safe place to talk.Thank you for sharing.