I feel like a million dollars.

[William769]

I met my life partner when I was 25 years old, I felt that we had a fairy tale love with the two of us nothing could hurt us we were invincible. But that was not to be somehow HIV came into the picture & after 16 years of being together I lost David to AIDS. That was six years ago.

I grieved for David & I did in such a hard way to the point that I didn't want to live anymore I felt my life was over. I was 41 years old when he passed & HIV positive what kind of life was I going to have? I took life one day at a time & refused to look at the big picture simply because I did not want to be alone intimately.

Before David I had a couple of guys I dated but nothing serious, back then dating in our lifestyle is not what it is today.

Now I am 47 I still miss David but realize he is in a better place & my life must go forward. About six weeks ago I went to a singles party for HIV positive men and I met Dino, he is quite a bit younger than me (he's 31) for some reason we hit it off & for the past six weeks we have been dating. Well last night after dinner Dino told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the next level and stay the night. I was shocked, scared, mortified to say the least. what did he see in me plus David instantly came into my mind. I asked him To please give me a couple of minutes to think about it he understood he knows my past with David. I agreed to his offer & after walking on the beach for awhile we went back to my place. needless to say fireworks ensued.

I woke up early this morning in a haze thinking what a wonderful dream I had last night I rolled ove & there was Dino, once again I was in shock that this actually happened. I asked myself again, what did he see in me? I got up made breakfast & brought it to him in bed. He looked at me & said thank you thats all he said. After breakfeast he wanted to make plans for Saturday night.

Now this relationship may not go very far, but at least for awhile I feel alive again.

I posted this for all to read in the hopes if there is anyone out there that has felt the way I have felt over the past couple of years, life goes on.

[WillParkinson]

1. My very best to you!

And Dino.

:hug:

[xchrom]

2. welcome back.

from one who lost his partner to aids to another.

[w8liftinglady]

3. nothing but beauty and happiness, my friend. You earned it!

and for you- from Sia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtM_cc4SPJI

[William769]

20. Beautiful, thank you.

[PassingFair]

4. "...fireworks ensued." I think I love you too!

Good luck William! I hope Dino is as sincere
and lovely as you are.

:)

[Raster]

5. Bless your heart, Will. Time moves on and our lives continue.

Nothing will ever detract from the wonderful years you and David had with each other. A part of David will always be with you.

It is good to be alive. Welcome back.

[yardwork]

6. I'm sitting here at my desk in tears.

Dear William, you deserve this happiness. May life bring you joy. May all your dreams come true.

:hug:

[closeupready]

7. Good for you. I want to also say this, not to criticize, but to support you, William:

The fact that you seem to be bewildered as to why or how another gay man can find you attractive is troubling to me, in terms of it seems to reflect a low self-esteem, and an inability to accept the obvious fact that others do find you attractive. I guess my question would be, are you pushing people away, and if so, what are you afraid of?

But I'm glad that you've seemingly started to open up to other people and enjoy life again. Having lost friends of my own to HIV, I can empathize a bit with what you went through. :hi:

Edited for typos.

[William769]

9. Yes for awhile I did push people away I was afraid of my HIV status

& not knowing the other persons status & what they would think of me when I did tell them of my HIV status (that can be a real downer talking about on a date). Finally going to a HIV positive singles party did help bring me out of my shell.

As to other Gay men finding me attractive there is no doubt in my mind that several do (I don't want to sound vain but I am pleasing to the eyes for my age). What concerns me was his age compared to my age (yes I believe age & beauty are paramount in the Gay culture). I hope this makes sense to you.

I do greatly appreciate your concerns & thoughts & think highly of you for sharing them.

[mitchtv]

8. good for you, Will

We all need someone to share both the good times and bad.

[queerart]

10. Happiness Is A Good Thing.....

:hug:

[Behind the Aegis]

11. I am very happy for you!

I am glad you have found someone to share your life with again.

:hug:

[racaulk]

12. This is such a wonderful post, William.

I'm very happy that your life has taken this turn and that you're beginning to "feel alive" again. To feel yourself coming out of the darkness after a long period of solitude and sadness is a wonderful feeling, and I hope things only continue to get better for you!

:hug:

[Not Me]

13. This is wonderful!!

Live in this moment and let yourself enjoy it all. You deserve the best life has to offer.

[dbackjon]

14. Awesome!!

[TriMera]

15. I'm so happy for you, Will! eom

[dickthegrouch]

16. Best wishes to you and Dino

He sounds sexy just because of his name.

[William769]

18. His father is from Italy & his mother from Spain.

Very nice pairing.

[Puglover]

17. I know how you feel.

I often joke with my partner of almost 15 years that during our 1st date over dinner I had to restrain myself from crying out "I love you I love you I love you!!!!

It is of course very good I did restrain that little outburst because had I not I would most certainly be typing this message as a single man. :rofl:

Congrats. I hope things work out well for you.

[William769]

19. Great to hear of your lasting relationship.

May you both have many many more.

[Rowdyboy]

21. Damn it, you made me tear up....

I spent today with my best friend working in the garden preparing for a Halloween party we're giving in a few weeks. Now he's doing a crossword in bed and I'm about to slip my sore tired body in next to him and thank god for the life I have. Its all about the little things.

I met him on his first night out as an openly gay man (he'd been married for 19 years). I'm the first person he talked to at the bar, we had dinner the next night and I told my boss the next day that I'd found "the one". We've been together 22 years now. Life is good.

I wish you all the joy and comfort you so richly deserve. However long or short its duration, there is nothing to rival the intimacy that you can share. I wish you both the best.

[William769]

22. Same to you and yours.

:hug: