Can I sue the woman my spouse

[Control-Z]

cheated with? She is still married to her husband and living high on the hog. Calls for the boy toy every now and then. My family is destroyed.

[NVMojo]

1. ...divorce works

I speak from experience.

[kcass1954]

10. Works great too, doesn't it? I didn't even think about suing the ex or his

little slut. I dumped him and moved on. They're married now, and let's just say, be careful what you wish for...

[Control-Z]

12. It will hurt too much financially.

I have kids. Their welfare comes first.

[asjr]

2. I am recalling from years ago that there

were lawsuits for "alienation of affection." Laws differ from state to state.

[rooney]

9. yes, years ago, probably around 1950 in Texas, A woman

sued another woman for alienation of affection. The case went to court there in my small hometown. Character witnesses were called for both sides and some other testimony caused the jury to rule for the woman who originated the suit. She received $100,000 from the "other" woman who had money to pay, from the start. I am not a true believer in revenge. I think divorce or reconcillation wouild be better.

[elehhhhna]

3. I think your spouse is the one who broke a vow to you...not the

slut he's cheating with. She owes you nothing. Hubs owes you everything. See a lawyer, stat. If you can sure her too, the attorney will advise you.

[MercutioATC]

4. Depends on state law. Not in CA.

In some states, you can sue the "other woman" for "alienation of affection", but California is a no-fault state.

http://marriage.about.com/od/legalities/a/alienation.htm

[JuniperLea]

5. Cheaters get what they ask for

Sue the scum you married... teach him a lesson. Unfortunately, in CA, you can't sue her. You'll have to leave her to her own Karma.

You can, however, screw the asshole who cheated on you, and you can do it to the point of excruciating pain.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

Try not to wallow in shadenfruede for the sake of your own Karma.

[Control-Z]

13. I'm in Ca and I don't think I can even do much to him

because it would hurt the kids and me. I can't believe the way people just go around messing with other people's lives.

He's a narcissist. She's a narcissist. She's married to a wealthy attorney - 2 kids. My husband's a musician. She started stalking him - oh, about 12 years ago. She had everything. She wanted more.

Little by little my husband started to smear me, torture me and emotionally abuse me. I guess it made him feel justified in his cheating. It was long and ugly and got worse after I found out for sure they were cheating. They strung me along for a few more years until I finally called her husband. He hadn't known. He put an end to it. He thanked me for saving his marriage. She had never had any intention of ever leaving the marriage. All is was back to paradise for that family.

[JuniperLea]

15. For the kids' sake...

I know. I have three and I waited until they were all over 18 before I divorced their father. He was just that bad and I knew he'd make life hell for all of us if he could use them as pawns.

Your kids come first, absolutely. Keep any bitterness to yourself and spare them for sure, but think of them when you legally reach for his wallet;)

[Control-Z]

16. That is just what I am trying to do.

But there are days when I feel my resolve begin to waver. I start questioning what I am doing. Thanks for your input. It really helps.

[Demobrat]

6. Is her husband aware of her plaything?

If not a quick call could be just what the doctor ordered.

[Control-Z]

14. Actually, for 10 years he believed

they were just special friends. When I told him about the sex part he said it saved their marriage. So glad I could help. It's been a while since that all came down. He doesn't know that they still talk. I get the phone bills but there is no point in bringing it up, I don't think. I loath my husband and only want to find a way to get permanently away from him.

[Totallybushed]

7. Her husband knows

about this? Right?

[Control-Z]

17. he knows n/t

[poverlay]

8. As a husband I can honestly say that I would very much want to know.n/t

[Control-Z]

18. Yes, he knows. n/t

[sinkingfeeling]

11. What state are you in? Some states allow for third parties to be sued

for 'alienation of affection'.

[Control-Z]

19. Apparently, I'm in the wrong state.

I'm hearing that Ca doesn't allow for much of anything in this regard.