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Edited on Wed May-11-05 05:34 PM by chicaloca
"But you're taking your anger out on an industry in whole because of a small portion of it brings bad memories. Do you also condemn the news industry because they report on rapes that have occurred? How about a life-time movie that deals with the subject?"
OK, so a news story educating people about date rape is the same as an on-camera rape made specifically to titillate people? What fucking planet are you from? I happen to be a journalist, and I find your argument to be repulsive and incredibly ignorant. We as journalists report on rapes because we want people to know if there's a serial rapist out there, if date rapes are becoming a huge problem on campus, and so forth, and will offer tips on how to protect yourself from being raped and where to go for help if it does happen. We report on it to EDUCATE people, to help them (although I will admit that certain media outlets, especially broadcast news, sensationalize it. But I'm in the newspaper industry.) Quite frankly, I don't think it HELPS anybody to have rape porn, and I REALLY doubt that the people who produce rape porn are trying to educate people on rape and help survivors, especially when some of the worst of it shows ACTUAL rapes. Your argument, I'm hoping unintentionally, says that reporting on rape is the same as actually committing one, videotaping it and disseminating it for people's pleasure. As with many arguments of this type, I'm guessing you didn't realize the implications when you made it, but I DO think it says something about our subconscious views on rape. It's like when there were riots on my college's campus, and the student newspaper and broadcast students who videotaped the riots refused to turn over the photos and footage they'd taken to police. (The argument for turning it over being that it would help the cops catch people who committed a lot of vandalism.) In response, some guy wrote in to the paper condemning their choice to not turn over the photos. He asked it they would would refuse to turn over photos they had of a rape that would help incriminate the rapist. Essentially, he was saying that setting a car on fire is just as bad as raping someone. I'm guessing he doesn't outrightly think that, but it's a good example of how we trivialize and completely misunderstand rape in our society, even when we don't mean to.
I'm also thinking that you're perhaps thinking I would be just as offended by rape porn as by an informational article on rape because both trigger me. Well, what happened to me doesn't make me stupid. Although I might be triggered by a report on rape, I can see the difference in what each is trying to do and the newspaper report won't make me feel even a millionth as bad. I understand and appreciate the newspaper articles, and I usually read them. If they're well done, I feel better. If not, I write a letter to the reporter or editor (not for publication, since I'm in the industry myself) because I know that wasn't their intention. Reporters want to do their best on this stuff and are receptive to what I have to say, so even an initially bad situation can turn into a good one through their willingness to listen. If I see an article on rape in a paper and I'm not up to dealing with it on a given day, I'll just turn the page. But I know that the article, even if it's poorly done, does not exist solely to humiliate me and celebrate something that has nearly, and might still someday, take my life. And that's why I can simply ignore a newspaper article on rape without a great deal of distress, but even though I delete rape porn immediately, it will stay with me, not for days or weeks or months, but forever.
Ugh. Sometimes I hate the world. Anyhow, I'm off to hibernate now -- I'll probably chat with y'all again in a few weeks or months or something, unless I get a little less busy and feel particularly strong on a given day.
Oh, and before I go, I'd like to say to all the people here who say people with my views are just "playing the victim," as has been put forth in this thread: FUCK YOU. I used to be pro-porn and anti-feminist, just like a lot of you, but that was before somebody I trusted and loved decided to fuck me without my permission. If you doubt me, you can look up just about anything I posted before 2002. And I think it's absolutely DISGUSTING that you all throw the term "victim" around so casually, condemning anybody who has what your holier-than-thou asses deem a "victim mentality." I have two responses to that: First of all, it's people like you who make it difficult for survivors of any type of trauma to get better, because of course it's the worst thing in the world to be a victim, there's obviously something wrong with you, and hell, even if something bad did happen to you, you should just buck up and get over it.
Secondly, I don't even prefer the fucking term "victim". None of you have any idea, ANY, of how much it takes for me to come here and face you all, or of how much it can take for me to get through the day. Sometimes I wonder how many of you would be able to do it. I work 50 hours a week and go to school part time, and all of my co-workers think I'm one of the happiest, most together people they know, even though most of the time I feel like I'm crumbling inside. I put on that facade because I don't want anybody to characterize me as a victim, because I don't want to fit that awful stereotype that so many anti-feminists here seem to think is rampant. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a fucking SURVIVOR. I didn't get into feminism because I wanted to feel persecuted. I got into it because I don't want anybody else to go through what I went through, and because the sooner women are no longer objectified, the sooner people understand rape and stop glorifying it, the sooner I'll be able to heal. I find it really too bad that so many people here have no intention of listening to the people who are most hurt by misogyny, that so many people choose not to notice that women are more likely to be the ones against porn, objectification, rigid beauty standards, etc. It's because it affects US. That's why, when I go to state legislature meetings, the people who give testimony about high crime in various neighborhoods are likely to be people FROM THOSE NEIGHBORHOODS. Not from low-crime areas. Because they know what the hell they're talking about; they've been there, it's their life. Yet so many people here like to tell women that it's all in our heads, there's nothing to worry about, we're just silly and crazy, etc. Well, how the fuck would you know how objectification affects women if you're not a woman? How dare you tell me how I should feel about rape porn if it hasn't happened to you? And honestly, the most difficult part about getting over rape is not getting over the act itself -- it's living with people's attitudes about rape, and about women and sexuality. Attitudes like the shit that's all over DU. Like the shit that's all over this thread, that's even inescapable on a women's rights forum.
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