Off Kilter: Things No Woman Should Have to Learn the Hard Way

[legalcoffee]

DO not invest your emotions in his potential alone.

Waxing products are not to be toyed with.

[BrklynLiberal]

1. Very astute observations that appear to have been learned the hard way.

[legalcoffee]

2. You Think?

Some things seem like they should have just been common sense. I'm not ashamed of my actions I just hope that other women can gain something from my "mistakes" and that they happen to have something to share too. :)

edit: men share these things all the time... I haven't found a place where women do anything along the same lines, yet.

[Nikia]

3. Perhaps for younger women

Young men are as much as or more of pack animals than young women, despite popular belief. If his friends are not people who you would like or do not like you, the relationship will probably not be too sucessful. Stupid boys will dump you because of their stupid friends.
Young men might want to have sex for different reasons than you do. If you are looking for a relationship, you might want to consider this guy's history and perhaps wait before jumping into the sack. The younger you and he are, the less likely that we will want to stay with you if you have sex right away.
Despite what the media portrays, women are the more attractive ones and often have more dating options than men. You don't have to look like a supermodel to get a guy. In addition, teenage guys are often stupid for the reasons above. If you are unsecure about your looks and think that no one will ever want you, don't have sex with the first guy or first attractive guy that offers just to reaffirm your self esteem. There is no reason that you shouldn't be picky, as you may perceive guys to be.
I offer this advise with E., S., J., and my younger self in mind.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

4. If you put up with bad treatment, he'll think you don't mind

If he wants to dump you, he'll start acting obnoxious or indifferent, trying to get you to dump him.

Avoid rebound or desperation relationships. They can turn you into an idiot. You will look back and think, "I must have been crazy."

And retroactive advice to my much younger self: Don't turn down an approach from a presentable guy just because you're waiting for Mr. Indifferent to finally notice you.

"Playing hard to get" has its limits. An insecure guy will take it as a resounding "no."

[SarahB]

5. Make your feelings and expectations clear.

I have too often been in a place within myself where a man's treatment of me or his actions in general really bothered me, yet I remained silent thinking if I'm "kind and understanding" enough, things will get better. No more. I'm a damned wonderful women with a lot to offer and I deserve the same level of respect and understanding as I'm willing to give. If that's too much for a guy, he never really cared to begin with.

[politicat]

6. Never, ever co-mingle money without a clear goal in mind.

Joint checking accounts can be drained dry fast. Maintain your own financial identity, maintain your own life, and maintain your own ability to scram if you have to. You may not have to, but you may need that slush fund, even if just to buy groceries during a recession.

[Love Bug]

7. 1. Better to be alone than put up with his shit just to have a man

2. Let him know right up front that you won't "pay" for what the ex did to him.

3. It's ok to have standards and stick to them

4. Just because a guy is exciting doesn't mean he's good for you

5. There is no such thing as chip-proof nail polish