I'm done pumping. I'm gonna let it run its course.

[rbnyc]

I so much wanted to last a year, but it's just too hard. My job is so busy. I almost always miss my afternoon session because I'm just too involved in what I'm doing. My son has been rejecting the breast during the day on the weekends. He only wants to nurse late at night because that's how we do it 5 days a week. Although getting an excellent gift of an electric pump (thanks again) made things easier for a while, I've just had it. I'm so tired of worrying about it, carting it around, keeping it sterile, and pumping, pumping, pumping.

When I first started breast feeding people asked me how long I would do it, and I'd say "Until one of us gets sick of it." I really thought that was the right answer. But then the more I read, the more I felt that Garrison should be breast fed for at least a full year.

He's a very big, hungry boy. We started him on rice cereal way before we had initially planned, because he was not only insatiable, but grabbing at our food all the time.

We've been supplementing him with formula for a while, because even tho I did get my production up to about 16 ounces while at work, that hasn't been enough to last him through the next day.

The doctor said we could give him a little clear grape juice now, just to start broadening his pallet. So he's already getting a variety of foods.

So I'm just going to continue to nurse at night, not stress about pumping during the day, not worry about keeping my production up, and just let myself run out of milk.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this. I will miss nursing him. And I've only had one period since I've been breastfeeding. I'm not really looking forward to having my regular cycle.

But he doesn't let me nurse him half the time anyway, and pumping really disrupts my work day. I was recently promoted and I have a huge amount of responsibility at work.

He's 4 1/2 months old now. I think if I just let things go, I'll still be able to nurse at night for about 6 more weeks.

Anyone else go through mixed feelings, combination of mourning and relief upon moving on from breast-feeding?

[AwakeAtLast]

1. You have to do what is best for *YOU*

I think you have done the best you can, congratulations!

I am replying because of your last question. I went through all of those feelings and had to do it while going through post-partum at the same time. My daughter never latched on, and I never produced milk. I was never engorged, never experienced letdown, nothing. I was not prepared to deal with what would happen if I couldn't breastfeed. I thought I would be able to make the decision to continue once I got started. That didn't happen. It was a lot to deal with all at once, but I got past it. Of course, I had to deal with all of the prying from everyone. I really wish I had been able to have that experience, and I felt very defective because I couldn't.

I guess that I am trying to let you know that you should try to be happy that you were able to provide for your son for as long as you did, especially while working full time. While I know this is difficult, I'll bet that the lack of stress from all of this will help you and your son bond in other ways. He sounds like a great little guy! Good luck!

:hug:

[rbnyc]

5. Sorry about your experience.

I can imagine how hard that must have been. My milk was late because I had a C-section, and I had a lot of guilt and anxiety about not being able to feed my baby.

Thanks for your post.

[SCDem]

2. You may end up still being able to breastfeed for longer than you think

I stopped pumping in November 2004. My son was 11 months and I went to my first overnight (2 nights) conference without him. I pumped but actually because of missing parts or something I ended up having to hand pump and so did not do it at the normal times of the day etc. So when I got home from the trip, my son was already moved to the next room (Toddler 1) in his daycare and they did not give bottles nor like to have the kids drink from sippers. So I stopped pumping during the day. I nursed him before bed and usually once or twice during the night. It wasn't until 2 weeks ago (That's mid January so almost 3 months after I stopped pumping) that I decided that I was going to stop breastfeeding all together. Took about a week where I breastfed my son once about every other day.... usually when he would wake up at 4am. Now my breasts are back to normal and my son is actually sleeping through the night.

So don't be too concerned that you are going to dry up because you are not pumping during the day. Just let things run their course and you may end up breastfeeding for longer than you think.

Congratulations on making it this far!

[rbnyc]

6. That's great!

I really hope I can give up pumping and keep on nursing him at night, or whenever we're together and he wants it. I figure if I make it to 6 months, that's pretty good. But it sounds like I really could last longer.

So much of what I've read has said...don't ever miss even one pumping session or you'll sabotage your milk supply.

I'm both ready to give up pumping and all the anxiety around keeping up my production.

Thanks for your post.

[oregonjen]

3. I think you produce milk as long as he nurses

Although I nursed a little longer, my son and I got down to two nursings a day. That lasted many months. Then maybe once a day. Then we stopped. It's my understanding that the body will produce as long as baby is nursing. I finally stopped with him and it took a week to stop producing milk. I never could pump though. I tried with my first child and all I could ever get was a few ounces, so I was never over-flowing with milk.

Don't be discouraged. Even nursing a little is still giving him and you plenty of benefits. Enjoy it as long as you both can because once it's over, it's over. : )

[rbnyc]

4. I know I'm supposed to make as much as he takes out, but...

...if I'm only night nursing, and not pumping or nursing during the day, I think I will start to produce less and less. And sometimes he sleeps through the night, so I'm only nursing him at bedtime.

I am VERY encouraged however to hear that you did 2 nursings a day without pumping for so long! I'm really glad you posted that.

My husband agrees, some breast milk is better than none.

I'd love to keep up nursing once or twice a day and just give up pumping. That would be awesome. Your post is so encouraging!

[oregonjen]

7. Because you are supplementing using formula, your baby is fine

I truly believe your body will produce the amount you need for night nursings. The law of supply/demand applies here. : )

I nursed 1 1/2yrs with my daughter and 2 1/2 yrs. with my son. Both babies were getting dairy products, juices, solid foods, etc. by the time we were finished. My body still produced enough for fewer nursings and it lasted quite a long time. Even when my daughter quit, I still got engorged. Same thing happened with my son too.

This is still only my experience, but I have a feeling that you will be just fine. If you are unhappy pumping, it makes the whole issue of breastfeeding unpleasant.

Now, my children are 9 and 6, and I miss the times we used to cuddle and nurse. Enjoy these times because they grow so quickly. Nursing is hard work, but it is worth it! I'm proud of us women, we truly are amazing!

[soleft]

8. Definitely, and I only got to do for 6 weeks

I felt really sad and also felt relief as well. The first time he had formula he chugged 8 ounces straight down. Very, very hungry guy. I was like, God, no wonder we're at this every two hours. Kids starving.

15 years later - I envy people who got to do for a longer period of time, but, we both seem okay now.

Let me know the next time you two are going to be in the city, maybe we can meet up.

[rbnyc]

10. I would love that!

Maybe Saturday.

[Pithlet]

9. I did with both

It's natural to feel a mixture of sadness at relief when the time to wean comes, no matter how old your child is when it happens. Be prepared for some mild mood swings as your body's hormones readjust after you dry up. In time, those feelings will fade and you will be proud of the time you breastfed. You will also revel in your newfound freedom as your body is finally all yours again :)

[rbnyc]

11. Thanks Pithlet.

Although, I have to say I'm relieved to hear I can give up pumping and probably go on Nursing at night for a while. That would be great!

[Pithlet]

12. You probably will

I nursed my first one or two times a day for a couple of months before we weaned, and I never pumped.

[MediumBrownDog]

13. My situation is similar to yours....

My son is 5 1/2 months old, and I've been breastfeeding, supplemented with formula, the whole time. I sent the pumped breast milk to daycare along with formula packets in case he ran out (which he always did, he's a huge eater). I was pumping religiously when I first went back to work, and then gradually my schedule would cause me to miss a pumping session.... and nothing really happened other than me being uncomfortable. My milk didn't disappear, none of the things the books said would happen.

So around 4 1/2 months, I chilled out, stopped trying to kill myself with pumping during the day, and now I nurse him first thing in the morning and during the evenings, once when we get home and before bed. I send formula to daycare, which is easier for them anyway. When I stopped pumping during the day, I had a few uncomfortable days and after that, my breasts adjusted. While I am able to nurse him during the day on the weekends, and tried that at first, I don't anymore. My breasts get all geared up thinking we're going to that schedule again, and it makes Mondays really engorged.

I have been saddened that this part of our lives is ending, but I'm trying to look at it as growth and change in a positive light. I'm also very grateful that my son and I were able to share this bond, for however long, as some don't have the luck we've had with it.

AND the teeth he's cutting are making me much less sentimental about weaning!!!!!! :7

Good luck, and don't be hard on yourself!

[rbnyc]

14. VERY similar!

And those teeth do make us less sentimental for sure!

Thanks for your post.

:)

[tigereye]

15. just do what works for you

I think they benefit from any amount that you breastfeed. I remember well the difficulty and amusements of pumping, freezing, seeing so little of the milk as I pumped less, the weird wooshing sounds the pump made, the changes that go with working and different caregivers. I breastfed exclusively for about 6 weeks before I went back to work, and then did both off and on for about 8-9 months, and it just ran its course. You do miss it and you don't - it is wonderfully nurturing and personal, but also kind of exhausting, too. I was glad to put the pump(s) away - I gave the heavy duty one to a friend.


Congratulations on a great experience for your little one. My son didn't have any ear infections til he was in first grade and no need for pacifiers. :)

[jlucu]

16. Same here

You are doing a great job.
I lasted almost 6 months - pumping was hard and I just kept getting less and less (as an aside...I've been curious if the "size has nothing to do with it" talk about breastfeeding. My big breasted friends would tell me how they would get TONS when pumping and me and my small breasted friends got so much less...not a scientific survey but I gotta believe it does have an affect...).

I have to admit that I was more relieved than not about stopping the breast feeding - I never found it to be the big "bonding" experience others do, pumping stressed me out, my siblings and I were all formula fed and we are almost unnaturally healthy (1 ear infection amongst four kids...that's it!), I longed to be given more that 3 hours to myself before I was needed for a feeding or pumping.
So, I was ready to be done, but I did feel a little guilty, but must admit that relief was more predominant for me.

[rbnyc]

18. Thanks.

It is a huge relief not to be worried about pumping while I'm at work. And so far, I still have milk for him at night, so we'll see how long that goes.

Thanks Again.

:)

[Book Lover]

17. Relief and sadness

Yep, you said it. I was depressed because, just like your situation, I was working full-time and not really producing well when pumping at work (though I did the dumb thing and did not invest in an electric pump...). I was into blaming myself for a while, but then realized that my li'l guy was doing very well on the apples and rice cereal that we were already feeding him since he started early on being a "good" eater. I have also noticed that I have never really completely run out; my breasts still produce a few drops if I massage...

On the other hand, no beer ever tasted as sweet as that first Anchor Steam in nearly a year. I liked repossessing my body a lot.

[rbnyc]

19. No doubt. I'm about ready for a bender!

I'm still night nursing. But I can't wait for a night on the town.