Son doesn't believe in God, his good friend does (and

[blondeatlast]

occasionally evangelizes!). Do most eight year olds think about this?!

She's a very nice girl and during the week, virtually the only child I'M WILLING to let my son play with in the neighborhood.

I very much like the family even if they are a bit too hung up on church (I'm a UU type of Christian; I believe in a divine spirit but more that it is a part of each of us--that's enough detail for this conversation, I hope). I have no problem with his beliefs; my husband is an agnostic and while we occasionally discuss it, we know there isn't any point and quickly drop it.

I've told my son to just tell her that is what he believes, and that it isn't worth it to lose a good friend over this.

I kind of suspect if they wouldn't fight about this, they'd find another reason anyway.

But I am a bit concerned; I don't remember thinking about that at that age. Do most eight year olds do this?

[John Q. Citizen]

1. Some do some don't. It depends on upbringing and on genetics.

"The religious gene."

[amandae]

2. My 7-year-old has already come home with questions about god

prompted from conversations with her 6/7-year-old friends who attend church. We do not attend church and are trying to raise her to be open-minded about religion. My husband was furious though that it's already starting. Although we presently live in an area of the country that has a pretty strong religious climate.

My husband hasn't experienced too much toleration about his lack of "belief," but I wouldn't suggest your son doing what my husband does when faced with people who say they'll pray for his soul. :) I'm just like you guys, I choose not to discuss it, unless it's with people who are good friends.

I don't think it's out of the ordinary at all for kids this age to be thinking about it. Especially if they're being raised in really religious households. They're bound to talk about it and talking about it to their peers will raise questions for all involved. I think you did the right thing to tell your son to tell her that how he feels is what he believes. He shouldn't have to deny how he feels in order to be friends with someone, and his true friends will like him no matter what he believes. At this age, I wouldn't think something like this would be a dealbreaker. If it is, I would think you should talk to the parents of the little girl. I know I'd be upset if my child was that intolerant, and hopefully they'd feel the same way.

[MountainLaurel]

3. Probably hearing about it at church

I attended a fundamentalist Baptist church from about the age of 8 or 9 (for no good reason, considering that my parents didn't attend) until college. This girl is likely being taught in her Sunday School classes that it is her duty as a Christian to go out and "spread the Good News" and that God will be mad at her if she doesn't. Possibly, they're manipulating them mentally by asking questions such as "You don't want your friends at school to burn in hell forever, do you? Do you know how hot hell is? How long is forever?" (and then give some analogy about how if a year was a grain of sand on the beach, Myrtle Beach would be just the beginning of forever)."

I can still remember being terrified at the idea of my friends and family going to hell, or being left behind in the Rapture.