Toddler bedtime is a disaster

[midnight armadillo]

For the past few months, my 2-year old son Mark (he is 25 months old now) has had an evening routine like this: 6pm I get home, we do daddy play time, eat some dinner, snack at 8:30, eventually he's asleep at 9-9:15pm. Later than we'd like, but it was ok.

Now for two weeks it's gone like: 8pm do PJ's, stories, etc (as usual). Mark asks for food. I feed him. He finishes eating. We try to go to bed...he asks for food. Eats. I try to get him to sleep...he's hungry. This goes on til 10PM-10:30PM. The other night he just fell asleep on my lap in the kitchen out of sheer exhaustion. He's usually not even eating that much food, like one chicken nugget or a few grapes, for each round of this.

My wife & and I are at a loss on how to break him out of this. We do have a second baby on the way (due at end of march), but I don't know how big a factor this could be.

DU parents: any suggestions?!? This pregnancy has been a very difficult one for my wife and I have to handle all the housework after Mark is asleep...we all need more sleep!

[SoCalDem]

1. He wants attention..not food..

and he can sense that his life is about to change.. Maybe you can go into his room with him and lay down on his bed with him...get him used to spending the pre-sleep time in his bed instead of all over the place.. Your could also find a special "bedroom nightnight toy", that he can play with only in his room at bedtime.. ..

Barring that, there is always the "take him to bed with you until he falls asleep or letting him fall alseep on the couch and then carrying him to bed..
He's only enough to understand that "no more snacks" and off to bed is the new deal..

2 of mine went to bed on their own with no hassle.. and one wound go to bed and then get up every few hours..

[wildeyed]

2. Try putting him down a little earlier.

With mine, if they are already overtired, it is actually harder to put them to bed. You could use the extra rest, too.

Second, I would put limits on the snacks. I give mine a set amount of time to eat. I give them a 5 minute warning. And then I put the food away. I get the occasional 'but mommy, I'm huuuuungry' before bed, but I don't give in. It is a ploy to extend bedtime, they are not really hungry. Mine also ask for extra sips of water before bed (but mommy, I'm thiiiiirsty), which I do allow. The first few nights you do this will be difficult, but once he knows you mean business, he will settle down.

As another poster suggested, adding some more cuddle time might help, too. Since your wife's health is not the best right now, your son my be missing some of her attention during the day. Maybe an extra story or some singing when the two of you can cuddle up might help. I really like reading to little ones. There is all the research about it being good for literacy, but also, it is a time when my attention is totally focused on the child. As busy as we are, I tend to forget to do that without the reading routine.

[melv]

3. growth spurt

don't worry too much. It will pass and things will get back to normal.

[Tab]

4. I went through this too (with my son, I mean)

- He more wanted attention, not food. There's also some separation anxiety.

- Letting him fall asleep with me on the couch or my bed wasn't good - when I went to move him, he'd wake up and we'd start all over again.

I did a few things...

- Made sure he knew to eat before he went "sleeping".
- Go easy on the sugar a few hours before
- Note that grapes might upset his stomach; nuggets or crackers are better.
- Not too long a nap in the afternoon - maybe he's oversleeping earlier in the day.
- You could (if it's big enough) lie with him in HIS bed until he drops off.
- (This is the hard part) You will basically have to close the door (or maybe leave it open a little if preferred) and just say "Mark, it's time to go sleeping". If he comes out (or calls) you can come in and say, "Mark, I'll give you a sip of water if you want, but it's time to go sleeping". This will NOT be fun for the first few nights, but pretty soon he'll get the idea, and then you're home free.

Right now he's learned he can extend bedtime by little requests, and if you don't watch it, you'll be up to midnight with him playing this game. Offer some water if he needs, but tell him it's time to go sleeping.