Has any one here ever adopted?

[Kerrytravelers]

My mother is adopted and it is something I have always wanted to do. We're getting to the point in our lives where we are ready to being considering our options.

I have no preconceived ideas about adoption and want to hear any and all opinions.

Age and ethnicity doesn't not weigh a factor in our decision, although we aren't financially able to care for a child that has severe medical needs. maybe someday, but not at this point. I have been a special ed teacher in public school, so I am aware what I can do well and what I don't do as well.

Thanks!



Edited for spelling errors.

[trotsky]

1. I have not, but we know 3 couples who have and have been references for 2 of them.

One couple has adopted a boy from Korea and one from Ethiopia. Their struggles were mainly in dealing with the foreign agencies, who work on far different schedules and approach the issue in frustrating ways sometimes - all with horrible communication. With their Korean son, one day they were told they would go to Korea and pick him up in two weeks. The very next day they got a call from the local coordinating agency telling them their son was at their airport waiting to be picked up! For the Ethiopian son, everything was on target and sailing smooth, and then the whole operation there shut down for a month due to holidays.

Another couple is gay, and they have still not received their child but will be getting an early teen "troubled" child. They are two of the nicest and tolerant people we know - I hope it works out.

Finally, the third couple is the one we did not have to write a reference for. They have one child of their own and adopted two girls from China. Their experience was pretty straightforward - China has set up quite the machine to "process" their unwanted girls, although key bribes along the way are pretty much expected.

[mzteris]

2. I have an adopted son

He's 8 now. He came to us as a foster baby at 7 days old. We were able to adopt him at 2 years of age.

He's wonderful and I can't imagine life without him. I know people who haven't adopted may find it hard to believe, but I actually forget he's adopted. . . which totally messes with some people's head as he's African American and we're not. :)

I have two older home-made kids but I love all three of my children - all the same, yet differently - as each child is different. (If that makes sense.)

If I were you I'd contact my local Department of Social Services and talk to them about adoption. There are many special needs kids out there who are in desperate need of a home.

Here's a website for you to check out: www.adoptuskids.org

[knowbody0]

3. I adopted three of my foster kids

siblings, ages 4,4 &5. they are 14,15 and 16 now and thriving beyond any expectations from the "authorities". I believe the universe connected us all.

Happy to answer any questions. Good Luck!

[LibertyLover]

4. Yes, I'm the mother of a little girl

whom we adopted 3 years ago from China. Our daughter is 4 years old now. We are very happy. If you have any specific questions don't hesitate to ask.

[Ms. Toad]

5. If you are considering adopting an older child

(older than 2), take some time to seek out and speak with parents (or siblings) of adults who were adopted as older children.

Things have gotten much better, but when my parents adopted three older children they were told by the adoption agency that love would solve any problems created during the early years. It is now clear that, in many ways, the earliest years are the most critical - and there can be significant damage done be age 2 which cannot be undone. The challenges my parents faced as a result of my siblings' inability to outgrow the problems created in their infancy were particularly heartbreaking for my mother. She is just now (20+ after the oldest one became an adult) able to tolerate being around him for more than a day or two at a time.

That doesn't mean that every child adopted as an older child will have lifelong problems, but it is more likely with children adopted as older children than as infants. If you have the kind of energy and resources it takes, and the strength to survive individually and as a family without blaming yourself if things don't turn out as you hope, more power to you - you will be filling a desperate need. These children really do need loving stable homes - but it is not necessarily helpful to go into such an adoption wearing rose colored glasses.

[LibertyLover]

6. Yes, my 4 year old daughter is adopted.

She is from Hubei province in China. My husband and I could not have children, at least not without major medical intervention that would have been extremely expensive and no guarantees of success. We chose to create our family through adoption. After researching varous programs, we decided that China gave us the best chance of successfully adopting. It took a while to get all the paperwork for the dossier completed and it's not cheap, but we have a wonderful daughter whom I could not love more. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have.