A question about introducing a new cat

[Stinky The Clown]

Our cat is 13 years old. She's always been skittish, particularly with other cats. Shortly after she came here, we got two of her younger siblings (Yes, her Momma was a slut and her Momma's owner was a reproductive moron.) The two "new" cats were a male and female. The female was totally antisocial and just avoided all the other cats. She has since moved out with one of the kids and, by a very circuitous route is now down in Florida with my ex wife. They're both very happy. The male cat is very laid back and very gregarious. He strolls around like "the mayor" ... which we used to call him. When he got near our cat, however, she'd hiss at him and he'd give her a perfunctory hiss and keep on strolling. She, on the other hand, would cower for hours after such encounters. That never changed, right up to the time he left with another kid.

Now the kid is back and he would like to bring the cat (now 12). We like the cat and would welcome him back. The worry is our cat.

They have a history, but now that they're older, will they have a better chance of getting along? If the male comes back, he's pretty much here. He could also stay where he is, if need be, so the situation is not in any way dire.

What thoughts can anyone share?

[spooky3]

1. It's hard to predict how cats will react. Feliway has helped in our house.

If she's still healthy and has at least as many "weapons" as he does (claws, teeth), she may stand up for herself more than in the past. If she does not, I would worry that he might bully her.

[Stinky The Clown]

3. He has claws. She doesn't. His nature is not to bully, but he likes to interact.

In the past, she took that good natured interaction as a threat.

[spooky3]

4. That is understandable. There is still a chance it could work, though.

I currently have two cats that were front declawed before I adopted them, and recently took in a foster who is older and has medical problems, but has all his teeth and claws. They get along very well. I set up a separate room for the newcomer, and was prepared to keep him in that room (going in to interact with him, etc.). There was hissing under the door between him and one other cat for a few days, but he really wanted out, and the other two let him out within a week. The reluctant one still hissed, but this stopped soon afterwards and now they play together. The point is to let everybody feel safe and protected until they show they are ok with trying to be together.

However, there are some important differences with your situation, so I don't mean to imply that this would necessarily work in your situation.

Can you offer to try it with the condition that if it does not work, either the new kitty will have to be cooped up in your kid's room, or your kid will need to let him go back to where he is now? I agree that you need to protect your kitty first--it's her home too, and it will be unpleasant for you to have a threatened pet. She could make her feelings known in smelly ways around the house, too.

[GoCubsGo]

2. You would have to re-introduce them slowly.

Really slowly... Here's a pretty good site on how to introduce them:

http://cats.suite101.com/article.cfm/introducing_a_new_cat.

No telling how they will behave, even with the history. You know how cats are. ;-) I managed to get three cats living together in relative harmony within a couple of months. It has been taking my niece about five months so far with two cats. The suggestion about Feliway is a great idea, and it could help the process. Good luck!

[spooky3]

5. so, what did you decide to do? I hope everything works out.