When will this stop...? Sounding "white"....

[bliss_eternal]

I'm sitting in my apartment reeling right now. I can not believe that in 2007 there are still people that have this ridiculous mindset. What I also can't believe is how hurtful it still is after all these years. :cry::grr::mad:

I called an "alleged" business person/lady today, to inquire about a service. The woman couldn't be bothered to answer the phone in a professional manner--or to have the person that answered for her to do so :eyes:. She couldn't be bothered to sound like she was even interested in my business. I can get past all of that, because ultimately if someone conducts themselves in a way that isn't professional, they don't get my business. Simple.

What I can't get past, at least not right now is the words that followed,"...you sound like a white lady..."

:wtf:

My response(stunned),"...excuse me?"

Pseudo business person that lost any possibility of my business(sounding more indignant)"...YOU sound like a white lady!"

My response,"....Um...and why is that...exactly?"

Pseudo business person: silence.

My response,"...Hmmmm...ok. Well, apparently you aren't the appropriate person for my business, but thanks for your time. Have a good day."

I promptly followed up with a phone call to the home office of the company to let them know that a person on their website--thinks it's ok to conduct business this way. Then I had a personal, private melt down, recalling all the time's I've heard this before. How much I've guarded myself from environments that would treat me in such ways again. I recalled the time I argued vehemently on this stupid board against those that dared to say there is a way to sound "white" vs. sounding "black." ...and I got very depressed.

When will this stop? Why are some so ignorant as to think that someone utilizing proper english, and knowing how to conduct business on the phone is equivalent to sounding or acting "white." What is WRONG with people? Where do they get this stuff from? Why are families teaching their kids this crap--that using appropriate english and stringing sentences together is "bad" and akin to being "white." I'm sorry, but I have to call bullshit on that. :grr:

It is also horrible to me because this is the kind of thing that perpetuates negative stereotypes within the race, as if there is a "way for one to sound or act" like any specific ethnicity. Sorry, but I find this very offensive.

Ok...I'm done.
:rant:

Oh wait, I'm almost done, but not quite. I guess to people like this, Maya Angelou "sounds white." Coretta Scott King while alive, spoke as if she were white. Women that spent the better part of their lives working for the equal treatment of ALL women of color...but in the process they sound white, so I guess their efforts are somehow "less than" because of that "unpleasant" reality. :eyes: Ok...NOW I'm done.

[SemperEadem]

1. the answer to your question

" Why are some so ignorant as to think that someone utilizing proper english, and knowing how to conduct business on the phone is equivalent to sounding or acting "white." What is WRONG with people?"


is in a song verse by Bruce Springsteen in his song 'Tunnel of Love":

"(they) gotta learn to live with what (they) can't rise above."

You did the best thing--you took it up with her supervisors because she lost them potential business; and business=$$$$. IMO, you were too nice to her--she would have had the rough edge of my tongue and after that, I would have brought a hug and cry down on her supervisor over it... and still not done business with them. It speaks volumes of the company that they have someone of that calibre answering their phones... they must not care about courting business, so they hired someone who doesn't care how she speaks to potential customers.

[bliss_eternal]

3. LOL SemperEadem....

I hear you and I agree. :hi:

The company hires people like this to work as "independent contractors" in a sense. They aren't paid directly by the company, but are under their umbrella in terms of obtaining clients, using their products, methods, advertised and referred through their website, etc. So in a sense, they lose (or gain) money for them in the grand scheme of things. They utilize the company name, are trained by the company, use their methods with clients, their products, etc.

This experience showed me that all the company represented itself as, is false and they won't be getting any business from me. The fact that someone like this is deemed a worthy representative of their company is disturbing, to say the least. If they don't have any sort of screening process and anyone that can pay for their training can come into their corporation... :eyes: Ummm, what kind of company is that? They don't take any time to get to know who they are going to allow to represent them? Wow.

It burned and I disliked going through that, but I'm thankful for the encounter. Without it, I may have given business to this company and they are obviously not worthy of it.

[Kerrytravelers]

2. Is there anyplace among your business associates to make this public knowledge?

If I ran a business, I certainly would not want to do business with someone who behaved in this manner.

[bliss_eternal]

4. Yes.

...and I did. ;) :hi: Kerrytravelers!

[Brewman_Jax]

5. Another view

(now that I'm strong enough to sit at the computer for more than about 5 minutes)

As my view of history has shown, white people don't, as a rule, patronize black-owned businesses. To cite a couple of examples, I've never seen anyone not-black in the barber shop I go to--and I've been going for 25+ years. Also, I've seen my dentist office change hands, from the previously white-owned, to the present black-owned. The former dentist moved farther into the NE suburbs. I've seen the clientele change from majority white to majority black in a couple of years. Both dentists are excellent and teach at the dental colleges; the only difference is the skin color. Why should the white people move and travel farther away? Only one reason I can think of. :eyes:

In fact, I've called the barber shop to ask for the barber, and I've heard in the background that some "white guy" was calling. It's not that "some white guy" was calling, more like "why would some white guy be calling here?"

In spite of the above, the individual on the phone should have been a professional, without regard of who's calling. It's supposed to be a business, not the friends' local hangout.

True, it's offensive, and is just as offensive when all the white people run away as well as black people can't be taken seriously. Race shouldn't matter, even here in the 21st century, but it still does. :(

[bliss_eternal]

6. I understand that aspect...

but that's not the issue here, at least not for me.

Sure it could have been "why would someone white be calling for this product/service"... But it's not cool that the assumption was that ONLY a white person could speak or sound that way. That is dismissive and divisive. Why does ANYONE need to label someone else, based on race or ethnicity?

Personally, I don't like it when others do it, I don't want to see it done within the race either.

When do we decide to stop labeling one another...within and outside of the race? As human beings? When do we stop seeing things that are one way as "white" and another "as black" (or of a specific ethnicity)? Why do people NEED to do this? (These are all rhetorical questions by the way--I'm not seeking answers for these questions but hope that some will consider what I'm asking). When as a people do some decide to stop seeking out the ways we are different to alienate, shame and ridicule and perhaps do something more positive with the energy....stop insisting we all be the same to offer love, acceptance, etc.

The last thing I'm doing when people call my home or place of business is trying to figure out their race or ethnicity. Let's think for a minute why anyone really needs to do that? Is that behavior necessary? Or is it just a habit--something someone does because they are comfortable operating within such a belief system? Does it make them feel better to know other's race? Why?

Instead of wondering why a "white lady" was calling for such and such a service--why is it that this person didn't just assume this was someone that was seeking what they had to offer and attempting to be a professional?

The problem here lies within them and their limited belief system. The way this person chooses to perpetuate negative stereotypes and beliefs about themselves and their culture.

[Catherine Vincent]

7. I know how you feel.

I used to get that too, from my own family. Although they don't say that anymore since a lot of them are in the workforce. They know it's your professional voice since they have to be professional also.

[flamingyouth]

8. I'm sorry you had this horrible experience

You did the right thing to call and complain and tell the business why you wouldn't be using their services. That person should be fired.

I owned a business for 12 years and I would fire someone who said that to a customer. Shame on her.

Anyway... I'm sorry. :hug:

[bliss_eternal]

9. Hi flamingyouth...!

:hi: I apologize that I'm seeing this so late. I haven't been around as much of late. I really appreciate your response, thank YOU!

I appreciate validation from a business owner and fellow liberal. It's frustrating when you see people complain about the divisiveness that exists in our world, yet they do nothing actively to discourage it.

Thanks again:hug:

[jmm]

10. Do you remember this story?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/tm_objectid=14947504&method=full&siteid=50143&headline=it-was-a-bit-of-a-cock-up---he-sounded-white-over-the-phone-name_page.html

6 December 2004
IT WAS A BIT OF A COCK-UP ..HE SOUNDED WHITE OVER THE PHONE
BNP MAN'S AMAZING ADMISSION
By Daniel Thomas And Greig Box
BNP members who mistakenly hired a black DJ for their Christmas party proved yesterday they were not just racist but STUPID.

Official Bob Garner said: "There was a bit of a cock-up. The chap who booked him didn't realise. The DJ sounded white on the phone."

Labour MP Martin Salter said last night: "This just shows they'll never be a legitimate political party.


"They're just poisonous bigots who think they can tell the colour of someone's skin from the other end of a phone line."


Some members of the far right group were so outraged by the blunder they walked out of the hotel where their party was staged.


And those that stayed had to keep their bigoted beliefs secret instead of parading them in end of year speeches.


Garner, branch organiser for Croydon, South London, admitted: "Everyone was a bit alarmed when the DJ turned up.

.....

The BNP's constitution stipulates that all members must be of "British or closely kindred native European stock".

.....

It's sad but this mentality is still prevalent. Even when people don't say straight out that someone sounds white and acts white they still use code words such as articulate and a credit to your race.

[bliss_eternal]

11. I was just reading on someone's blog...

...how offensive they find it, when people say Obama is "so articulate." :eyes: I feel their pain. lol. I don't recall the story you provided, jmm but I'm happy that you shared it.

I sincerely wonder if this kind of thing will ever become a part of history, and not be as prevalent as it still apparently is. I mean it wasn't that long ago that I duked it out on the main forum with a group of DU'ers about it being racist to insist you can tell a person's race by their voice. (That particular thread is linked in my Best of DU thread--small plug, :blush: sorry;) )

:hi: Always good to see you, jmm!