original bible discovered!

[SCantiGOP]

They recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the first scroll of the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the actual "first page" of the Bible. When deciphered, it read.....

Copyright (c) 300 B.C. by God.
All Rights Reserved.
First scrawling.
First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone-Is-Shadowed, 300 B.C.

All beings, places and events depicted in this work are fictional, and any resemblance to actual beings, places and events past, present or future is purely coincidental.

WARNING Some of the actions performed in this work are dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals familiar with the action in question, especially damnation.

NOTE Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark are called 'stars'. Some of them do blow up on occasion. In no way should this be construed as a sign that there is, beneath such an explosion, any form of saviour. Should such a misconstrual happen, the author will not be held responsible for the avalanche of arrogance, zeal, bigotry, humanocentricity and other vile acts which will surely follow the residents of the planet into time eternal until someone sees fit to erase the denizens of the world and let the author start over.

ISBN 0-000000-0000-1
Suggested retail price 1 ewe

[and-justice-for-all]

1. Skeptism is still older than xtiandom...

The Greeks were the first to question the existence of gods and even postulated evolution 20 centuries before Darwin.

[onager]

2. Anyone remember "The Bible Code?"

The one back in the 1990's, before the DaVinci Code hoopla.

Using a Hebrew version of the Bible, people were finding all sorts of hidden message, predictions, and what-not.

IIRC, it worked like this: random Hebrew letters were picked out according to some formula, like every 5th or 10th letter, then strung together. Since Hebrew has no vowels, the Bible Expert provided those.

A lot of atheistic wise-asses, of course, pointed out that you could do exactly the same with any book in any language and get the same result.

The funniest response was from a rabbi, who naturally had some knowledge of Hebrew.

He said he found the following message in the Bible:

I was just kidding--Jesus.

:rofl: