So , where does one get married?

[amyrose2712]

Who would I even get marry us? This is a serious question. For someone like me, (not atheist, more agnostic, with a touch of anti-theism) I would place myself at 5.75 on Richard Dawkin's Atheist Scale.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectrum_of_theistic_probability >>>>>> (For those that don't already know what I am talking about.)


So, church out, don't really have much respect for the legal system so, a judge out. No one is going to go on a boat, so no sea captain. What have yous(yeah, I'm from NJ, What of it,punk?) done when it comes to marriage?

[salvorhardin]

1. You can try to find a secular celebrant

Here's a list for your state. There's only 3 I'm afraid.
http://www.humanist-society.org/celebrants/celebrant.html#New%20Jersey

You might also try to see if the local Unitarian Universalist church is up your alley. They're generally tolerant of both believers and nonbelievers although it can depend on the specific church.

[lazarus]

2. we did the courthouse

nice ceremony, they webcast it so family could see (most of our family lives elsewhere and would have a tough time making it).

[Kolesar]

12. We are going to get married at the municipal court house

That's right, Kolesar, the Boreal Avenger, is engaged.

I am struggling with the vows. I got the Humanist vows out of the library, but it had text explaining that this was a Humanist wedding. I don't require a framework. For me, it will be a civil wedding, we only believe that Earth is sacred.

[lazarus]

13. we didn't even do vows

We just let the judge do a brief civil ceremony. I think it lasted 2 or 3 minutes.

We were the very first DU wedding, btw. Almost crashed the servers, apparently. :D

[Kolesar]

14. That's smart!

Just figuring out whose medical plan to use is challenging enough.

[lazarus]

15. it was my second

her first, but we were both older and not totally romantic about the whole the thing. We were basically an old married couple from our first date on. The wedding party consisted of the two of us and my daughter, presenting the ring. A couple of parents as guests, and that was it.

We came damned close to just eloping to Vegas and having a wedding there, but we could decided between an alien or Elvis wedding. :D

[ZombieHorde]

3. My wife and I were married at a ski resort in the summer time.

The mountain was beautiful and the lodgings were cheap.

[amyrose2712]

4. Who married you?

[ZombieHorde]

6. A friend of mine who is a Thelemic Priest. Thelema is an atheistic sex magic religion. nt

[Ignis]

19. That's a funny, brief description of Thelema.

:D

Hope the wedding went well. I assume he didn't do the Gnostic Mass or similar, more "religious" Thelema rituals at the wedding?

[Iggo]

5. Shhh!

People don't realize the moutains are still there in the Summertime.

And we like it that way...lol.

Lions and Hikers and Bears!

[onager]

7. I can marry you. Or you can D.I.Y.!

Well, if you were in California, I could marry you. Since, in addition to being a Fundamentalist Atheist, I am also an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church.

:rofl:

The good news: ANYBODY, even atheists, can be ordained in ULC. Just send in a donation and you can be ordained on-line. They also have a clickable link to find a Wedding Officiant quickly in your area:

http://www.ulc.org/

At least in California, besides weddings, ULC acolytes can legally perform baptisms and burials. Personally I have an ethical problem with the former and would just rather not perform the latter.

The founder of ULC believed that if the Pope and Billy Graham rated tax-exempt status, ALL Americans did. Just be careful about testing that "tax-exempt" part with the IRS. They're pretty snarky about it.

[TZ]

11. Thats good in other states

My older sister got herself ordained in that church and LEGALLY married my younger sister...

[Ignis]

20. +1 for ULC. They make it so simple, quick, and easy.

And most county clerks recognize the name by now, so you don't get too much hassle. :D

[Soylent Brice]

8. my wife and i got married at the house of the justice of the peace.

nice non-religious ceremony.

[sakabatou]

9. I don't know...

My brother had his in a park.

[Warpy]

10. The JPs had closed shop early that day

so I ended up with a slightly tipsy UU minister who gave the hippie special, heavy on the Khalil Gibran.

As I recall, we didn't promise to do much but give each other space and divorce 15 years later did that to the max, fulfilling the vow.

[Deep13]

16. My step-mother did the service. She's a notary.

Under MA law, a notary can be licensed to perform a marriage for one day. We did it outdoors at my late father's Christmas tree farm. He wasn't religious either.

[HelenWheels]

17. Actually the Unitarian Universalist church would be perfect

I got married in the court house and had the judge leave out the god shit.

http://www.uua.org/homepage/index.shtml

[Ignis]

18. If I had to be ordained again (to perform marriages), I'd go here:

http://www.spiritualhumanism.org/

From their FAQ:

Is this a Christian church?

The Church of Spiritual Humanism is a humanist church, and does not endorse christian theology. Christians are welcome to join but the tenets of the church are not based on the christian belief system. Our central tenant is that Religion must be based on Reason. The church will only endorse beliefs for with evidence verifiable by the scientific method. Since belief in gods is still a matter of faith rather than science we do not yet endorse it. If verifiable evidence of the supernatural is discovered the church be happy to adopt it into our religious system.

And from their Ordination page:

We do require that every one that through ordination accepts "holy orders" from the Church agrees with the tenet that Religion must be base on Reason. By this we mean that the best way of learning about the true nature of ourselves and the universe around has been shown to be the scientific method. If some belief cannot be proven by this method then it will not be endorsed by the Church. As Spiritual Humanist we keep an open mind toward new ideas and will gladly adopt religious beliefs that provide proof.

Ordination means that the Church has authorized the clergy person to perform Marriage, Baby Naming, Funeral, Hand Fasting, Commitment, Affirmation of Love, Invocations, Renewal of Marriage, and holiday ceremonies. Ordained Clergy are prohibited from performing ceremonies that involve exorcism, circumcision and animal sacrifice.

So perhaps contacting the "church" and asking for a list of Ordained Clergy Persons in your area would be a good start?

The major caveat here is that marriage laws vary greatly from state to state (and sometimes even from county to county within states), and your local county offices usually have far more control than they should over who is or is not considered "ordained" or otherwise allowed to perform marriages.

In the case of the big "we ordain everyone!" churches, someone's probably already gone through the hassle of being the first to try to perform a marriage with that ordination in that particular county, so your officiant's job will be easier if they go through the Universal Life Church or one of the other more "established" ones.

Hope that helps. :hi:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

21. Unitarian universalist church.

Secular humanist minister, Rev. Ross Henry, is a fellow i know personally.