This man says to me - about younger women.......

[TexasSissy]

So I've been out with this man a few times. Quite a few times, actually. He is a few years older than I am. We're middle aged. So he says to me while we're out one night something like he prefers women his own age. But he doesn't just say it like that. Oh, no. He goes into this diatribe about how some men like younger women...and he does, too, in a way...how cute they are, etc., etc. But looks aren't everything...he wants a woman in his age bracket, someone he can talk to. Although he likes a good looking younger woman on his arm, he really would be happier with a woman his own age. Blah blah blah.

Mind you, I'm no bag o'bones. I still turn heads (of younger men, to boot!).

So what was he saying? That he thinks women his own age suck in the looks department? That he is, in his own Freudian way, telling me that he REALLY likes younger women? I mean, why go to the extreme of referencing the AGE of the woman (MY age) over and over? What the heck do you think he meant? Should I be angry? (i am):mad:

[Longhorn]

1. Until I read your take on it

I assumed he was trying to be reassuring to you that he isn't one of those who pants after younger women. I don't think that means that he doesn't think you're attractive -- in fact, maybe that's why he also mentioned that he enjoys attractive younger women. But maybe he's used to women his age assuming he'd rather be with a younger women -- I mean, we get that message 24/7, right? -- from our popular culture.

If he's on the up-and-up, it sounds to me like he's telling you that he's learned the lesson that Jack Nicholson's character learns in, "Something's Gotta Give."

But I wasn't there, of course, so I don't know how phony he might have sounded, whether he sounded more like one of those people who try to prove that they aren't bigots by claiming that, "Some of my best friends are colored" -- know what I mean? ;)

If he really means it and maybe just fumbled the delivery, he could be a real gem! But what do I know? I haven't been on the dating scene since 1975! :shrug:

[livetohike]

2. It sounds like he is trying to convince himself

that he could date a younger woman, they would date him, etc.

I'm no dating expert - going on my 30th wedding anniversary next month, however, seems to me he has a self esteem problem. I don't think it's a slap at you, it's just that he has some issues and needs to grow up.

[TexasSissy]

3. Thanks for your responses. I think you sound almost as

puzzled as I was by his meaning...his statements could be taken in more than one way. I agree that he has a self-esteem problem (I thought this before his statements).

The way I took his statements was that he did not consider women his own age to be "cute" or "good looking." Only younger women are that. And that he doesn't consider younger women to be women of substance. Only women HIS age could be that. In other words, he likes to be seen with younger women because he thinks they are "cute." But he doesn't feel that way about women his own age.

Whereas I think a woman can be older AND good looking, as well as younger AND a woman of substance. I mean, I haven't changed that much in ten years. If I am a woman of substance now, I was ten years ago. If I was good looking ten years ago, then I am now, since I don't look much different. But what IS different is the age.

I suppose that's what disturbs me...that he put such an emphasis on the age....rather than substance and appearance alone. I think age is too important to him. Oh, well. Maybe I should stick with younger men. ;-)

[Eloriel]

4. Hey, why are you asking us instead of him?

I'd take it straight to him, pronto.

:D