When my very devout Catholic elderly father dies, what should

[LuckyLib]

we, his not religious children, expect from his parish priests in terms of a funeral? Will we be asked to speak? Do they get that many children of Catholics who were raised and schooled Catholic have no desire to set foot in a church, must less participate in ritual?

[rug]

1. This should help.

http://www.stjudefw.org/liturgy/funerals.html#Music%20for%20a%20Christian%20Funeral

Normally, the priest gives the eulogy at the Mass.

My condolences at this sad time.

[hedgehog]

2. Sad to say - don't be surprised if the parish priest has no real idea who your father is.

Most dioceses have a policy of moving priests around every five, six or seven years. The man you end up speaking with may never have had a chance to meet your father.

[LuckyLib]

3. We're expecting that. It's sad. For a 96 year old man, a member of the parish

for 49 years. Unfortunately, the old monsignor that we all remember as a crushing pedantic bore will no doubt appear out of retirement to "pontificate" -- we hated him when we were young and it would be just like him to remember Dad and make what he believes to be an expected appearance.

[hedgehog]

4. I will never forget the priest who appeared out of nowhere

at my grandfather's wake, who shoved aside several other priests and then led us all in prayer in honor of the Virgin Jesus.

[LuckyLib]

5. Now given the humor I share with my siblings, that would really

have cracked us up. Some smothered coughing would have been heard.

[47of74]

6. My experiences

At my grandma's funeral the priest gave the eulogy at the church. When we went to the cemetery and were in the chapel for the final committal ceremony the priest invited anyone who wanted to say a few words to do so.

Since that time I've been to two other funerals - once for a great uncle and for my uncle's mother - and the invitation to say a few words wasn't extended at the final committal ceremony.