Startle reflex is linked to abuse?

[redqueen]

Has anyone else been told that? I just thought I scared easily. But a few weeks ago in a session I mentioned it to my psychologist and he said it fits the pattern. I never knew there was any connection.

I made the connection about inability to trust on my own... that one's pretty obvious... but the startle reflex was a surprise. Today my boss startled me and he went so far as to comment about how it's daytime and I shouldn't be scared so easily. That and a post about being alarmed when there is no reason to be made me think of this... so I just figured I'd mention it here.

Also... isn't it horrible when you're watching a tv show or something and something will trigger some memory or feeling and then that sadness and fear just hits you like a wall? I have had panic attacks from it in the past but recently it's been less severe. Anyway I just wish there was some way to be prepared for it. I guess going to therapy and dealing with stuff is really the only way to defuse it. It just sucks.

[knowbody0]

1. therapy is no doubt essential

I was unprepaired for how peeling back the onion layers would absolutely drain me and leave me so sad. I continued for 2 and 1/2 years. It never goes away, but gets lighter. good luck.

[redqueen]

7. Thanks.

I've been going for a year and a half now I think... and I went for a year during my 20's. I guess the subconscious is something you can't really put on a schedule.

[Odin2005]

2. One of the signs of PTSD is a hyperactive startle response.

I have it as a result of constant bullying, as does my friend, who is a rape survivor.

[redqueen]

8. Yes, exactly...

it's PTSD from years of abuse. The rapes are a good deal less painful to deal with than the abuse.

[EFerrari]

3. The one way I can prepare for it is to work on the habit of resilience.

:hug:

[redqueen]

9. Resilience as in not letting it get out of hand?

I'm doing my best to stop beating myself up over stuff, that's for sure. :hug:

[EFerrari]

11. I've worked for a long time to make a habit of noticing when

I'm okay, when I handle something difficult, when I feel anxious but do okay at whatever anyway. It's a little thing but I work it like working a muscle. It seems to help.

It's funny, too, because the exercise isn't about being in control but just noticing how things are okay. And sometimes out loud: Yep, it's this effing bridge again but you've done this a hundred times. It's just like driving on your own block. You'll be fine. See? You're okay."

Sometimes I wind up sounding a little frantic and silly and end up laughing at the whole thing. All that just to cross a bridge. But, hey, it's better than NOT crossing the bridge or hyperventilating and feeling my hands go numb on the steering wheel. If you look out of your car and see some lady talking to herself, don't interrupt me. LOL

[Tobin S.]

4. I used to have that, redqueen

I also have the memory trigger deal.

I no longer have the unnecessary startle reflex, but I did for a long time when I was suffering from the symptoms of my illness. I was afraid all of the time.

As for the memory trigger deal, that's sort of what my thread about the Punisher is about. The painful emotion from those memories is fading. I think the way I'm de-fusing that is by bringing the memory and the pain into full awareness and acknowledging it instead of trying to shove it back down into the basement of my psyche. Fully feel the pain and then let it go. Another thing that is helping me with the Punisher is being good to myself. I've lost a lot of weight, quit smoking, and quit drinking. I only put healthy things into my body.

[redqueen]

6. I think that 'fully feel the pain' thing is going to take years...

but I'm working on the Punisher thing, and trying to remember to 'honor myself', as my doctor says.

[hunter]

5. I've got some terrible startle reflexes...

Our dog's been teasing me for years by sneaking up behind me and licking my elbow. I jump up off my chair like a crazy person every time, I can't suppress it. She knows enough not to stand behind the chair.

As a teenager I could respond violently. When I was in high school there was this stupid game of coming up behind someone and flicking their ear. Once I slammed someone in the face with a big fat biology book when they did that and I split open their lip. I also got badly beaten in a few bloody brawls over such nonsense. I was very easy to set off -- an odd skinny kid with no fashion sense and a funny way of talking. That made me a prime target for bullies.

By my own good sense I quit high school when I was still a minor and not likely to go to jail for my inappropriate physical responses to harassment, which gave me some quiet time to dial my reactions down.

In college I grew a good six inches taller and put on some serious muscle working out in the gym and working as a furniture mover and truck loader. I was never bullied again.

It was funny when years later I met one of my worst tormentors from high school, a testosterone soaked jock who was very physically intimidating to everyone, and he recognized me and suddenly his whole demeanor changed like he was thinking, "Oh, shit..." which is how I used to feel every time he and I crossed paths in high school.

[redqueen]

10. Glad you never had to were bullied again.

:hug:

[undergroundpanther]

12. I have pstd and I startle

I jump out of my skin,at loud unexpected noises,and if people touch me if they want my attention,and if both my upper arms are touched at the same time,I startle when people come up behind me.
And I get those"walls of emotion" too. It's like if something scratches the surface of a trigger I lose it.It's an emotional hell ride. My birthday was earlier this month and that is a trigger,and I had a mini breakdown.I was a basket case and was suicidal,When I began to add up how much klonopin I had on hand,my body shut down.I could not move.I was in bed for a day and a half the weekend after by birthday.I was a mess I thought I heard my father screaming at me pounding on my door to break it,I was having weird dreams,panic attacks without the emotions(still going on) and I was hallucinating stuff.I wanted to cut but something just shut the body down.
Pstd is a psychiatric injury,and it can in some cases leave scars on the brain.I have seen the scars on my brain in an MRI scan.

It sucks and the memories lurk under the surface,and they never seem tosen in it's intensity,and it interferes with my life. I wonder if it's even possible to get cured of complex pstd.

[redqueen]

13. I'm so sorry...

I know just what you mean about jumping out of your skin. But at least that's a reaction that's socially acceptable and doesn't make me look 'crazy'. Not like the reaction to triggers... you put it so very well... an emotional hell ride. That's it exactly. I hate it so much, it's so unpredictable, and I live in constant fear of it happening in public or in front of my kids. That's the worst. I feel like I always have to have my guard up and can't ever relax.

I don't have the severity of symptoms that you do, but a couple of people in my family have to deal with that or have had to in the past. As for being completely cured, I don't know if it's possible. I just hope to be able to better deal with things as time goes on.

Good luck...

[Control-Z]

14. I've embarrassed myself

so many times over the years (as an adult), when out of the corner of my eye I see someone (who is standing relatively near me) raise his hand (for something as simple and innocent as to scratch his head or adjust his glasses) and I react (in the exact way I did as a child when being beaten) by ducking and covering my head with my arms. It happens so fast, so instinctively, that I can't stop myself. It is soooo embarrassing and impossible to explain.

As for emotional triggers - happens every single day. I hide it pretty well most of the time, I think. Smells are the worst for me. Flowers, weather changes, certain foods, perfumes. Not to mention many of them also trigger migraines. I hate it.