I'm having software problems

[AlienGirl]

So last month my fluoxetine prescription was accidentally written as two 20mg/day instead of two 40mg/day capsules, and it took two weeks before I noticed. Possibly related to that, or to winter, or to the suck state of everything, my "faulty software" is acting up: panic, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, extreme sense of hopelessness and despair, inability to focus, and difficulty initiating actions (like, I know I have to sweep, but I just can't seem to start).

Talk therapy would be extremely helpful right about now, but I'm broke, so I write instead.

I can't stop thinking that the future is going to suck even worse than now--it doesn't help matters that I'm objectively correct--and my life is pretty much over, and I have screwed everything up for myself and everyone I touch.

And I can't stop fucking thinking of the times in my life when things were more stable, and wishing I could have them back but knowing nothing like that will come again.

And I can't stop thinking also of the worst times and knowing that nothing is stopping the same situations from happening again.

Tucker

[Odin2005]

1. Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!

:hug:

[HereSince1628]

2. Does the presriber know that your rx was written wrong?

Closing any gap in communication is an important step one. If the prescriber has begun to withdraw you, you should know it.

[EFerrari]

3. That happens to me. Has happened just about every night

for the last three years. It's awful and even exhausting.

What do you do when you get that kind of thinking, Tucker?

[AlienGirl]

4. I think of how much preparation it would take to commit suicide

...until it seems that suicide just isn't worth the effort and cost.

Tucker

[EFerrari]

5. The thought of my family pretty much stops those thoughts for me.

But, the question is out there in some corner of my mind. I see a rope and it's not just a rope. Quick, almost casually, there it is.

The meds I'm on may not be enough. Going in tomorrow for a tweaking.